Look Me Up

I used to have the motto "I will sleep when I'm dead" and was a member of the #nosleepcrew. I was approaching Fourty and for the life of me, I couldn't slow down. And then I relapsed, and while in relapse had my identity stolen, a partner desert me, had hardly anyone check on me and my kids, and it was bad. It was crazy and I had no help.

When I came close out of the relapse, my place was a shambles and there was a pest infestation in the building I was in and I just wanted out because management wouldn't move me or resolve the problem. Because I wouldn't pay the rent,  I had to go to eviction court and because I could not speak for myself due to nervous feelings, I got evicted. I didn't have it in me to fight, so  I began to find my way back into the world. I had a lot of Fatigue, but I pushed through. I was on about twenty active meds at the time, and was scaling them down slowly but surely. Pills kill. That was in 2011. My, how time flies.

"My best advice for anyone that doesn't understand MS is to load them up with books, watch "When I Walk" available on Netflix, or have them attend an MS dinner with a good program.... Youtube has some very good videos as well.  If they are unwilling to learn more, ask why"  posted someone in one of the MS support groups I'm in. People truly don't get it yet, and I hope they will soon. I go through so much and yet I'm still here, just fighting for a chance. I'm blogging while laying on my back and before I laid to the side then before that I propped myself on my elbows. I can't sit up very long without hurting and I have to move around and pretty much lay in all kinds of positions to find comfort. It's exhausting..really everything hurts but I'm treating for the pain. I'm learning to grow my own medications and this means I will live longer. I don't want what happened to me before to happen again ever. I'm safe now, but I don't want to be sick any longer. I'm fighting for a cure.

Please take the time out to research Multiple Sclerosis. I say look me up, but what I want you to do is research this disease that I have. I share my story so that it's told, and also to help others. I am writing 4 MS awareness. There's no cure but I'm fighting to live and hopefully by spreading awareness I can help save others from what I've experienced. My advice to anyone with MS is to build their support team so that they can take care of their family and take care of their health. I'm fighting so hard and I'm tired...and I choose to sleep now because Fatigue is kicking my but, but I'm not dead.

Being in the plains near the mountains, I'm  in fresh air and sun. The sun is hot for me since Colorado sits high and is closer to the sun. I can't perform in the heat but when it cools down I go outdoors. I do yard work and climb stairs and walk dogs everyday, so I'm getting plenty of exercise (and soreness). By nightfall I'm tired already and with my treatment I'm able to fall asleep with no problem. Day 15 with no Temazepam... And for an insomniac like me its amazing.

Our teacher had me watch Super Soul Sundays and it really hit me back on my path. Rafael is ensuring that I get better and this is the first time I've been supportive of a MS treatment...most times non of the pills actually work and do more harm than good.

In July 2015 I'm still dealing with identify theft issues, but I'm also pill free. Now I have to find the treatments for some of the other symptoms. I'm trying to document more so that we have records. So much of my life has disappeared from my memory so I want to capture the rest of it by writing so a cure can be found. If I can help other MS patients live a drug Free existence, I will.

Cannabis is not a drug. It's a plant. And GOD gave it to us. It's our right and our hope for today.