Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Sweet Sixteen

Sweet sixteen. In the mist of insanity of the day, I made peace. Today has been so stressful but I know everything is alright. That's the energy. I'm still toxin free.

I had to explain love and light today. The ministry continues and we continue to preach love and light. It's really simple... I can't have a lot of escalated conversation or I risk relapse. That's how we live. So when the day got hectic and emotional and things were frantic, we were able to help someone by telling them how we live (peaceful) and how we won't live (in chaos or fret). Initially we got push back, but then love shined through.

Still, my headache worstened...but the treatments help and I feel like there is hope for more releaf soon. Due to the escalations earlier, I feel slight tremors in my mouth and more fatigue. I'm ignoring it, though. I know that emotional situations occur and its my gift to get through them peacefully.

Oftentimes in emergency situations or frantic ones, people end up fighting each other instead of listening to each other. People misintrepret what others say to them and oftentimes misunderstandings occur. For whatever reason, people are sensitive and will think someone is attacking them when they are not, causing the situation to esculate. This is chaos.  When people have the kind of personality that folds under pressure, its hard to get through urgent situations peacefully. Those people are dangerous for me during those times, and I try my best not to be around them or I teach them how to be around me.

And yet I rise.

Being the target of anyone's frustration is dangerous for me, but I find that the combination of Phoenix Tears and Tincture from teacher keeps my body at an even relaxed internal enviornment for the most part. That is amazing, and I'm so thankful because I still have not been able to fill my meds. This is the longest time I've gone without it in a while. I'm "aware" and consciousness is amazing. I really can't wait to get more into yoga and meditation because I feel better. I'm not frantic or panicky (as much).

My social anxiety is better. Yes, I'm still anxious to talk to other people but not to a point where I'm extremely sick. I'm scared that I will still have a fluke episode and have a seizure or bad relapse but fear is the enemy and I'm dismissing those ideas. I'm trying to shut down many things that will overwhelm me, and believe me that is hard. But I'm making it one step at a time.

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