New Years 2019 Resolutions

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. It's New Year's Day 2019 and I'm so thankful to be alive today.  It's Tuesday, and I've been sick since last Saturday night. The herbal treatment I've been taking is working, so I'm hopeful to get out of this sickness having to only take Ibuprofen for the pain and fever, and treat myself organically with everything else .

This year I'm going to make efforts to write everyday, to be more visible on YouTube, fundraise more to fund my medical treatments, raise more awareness about Multiple Sclerosis and other chronic illnesses, and to become an overall better version of myself.

My chest feels heavy but the herbs are working their magic. Like Cardio said, "Knock me down nine times, I get up ten". I'm not giving up this fight for my life and I will not allow Big Pharma to give me medicine that will ultimately hurt me when GOD has provided natural herbs, fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, water, and essentially all that I need. This year I will obtain the massage therapy I need, too, and hopefully other holistic type treatments. This year, we will win.

Insurance covers Big Pharma trails

Ever heard of a paper trail? Well Big Pharma trails are sort of like that. The medicine we are prescribed not only is listed at the pharmacy we go to but also leaves a trail in our bodies along with the possible side effects. I appreciate Big Pharma for how it's helped me, I just wish I could get the same results via natural herbs and holistic health care (alternative health care).

Alternative health care is not covered by my insurance as far as I know which is unfortunate because I chose that to be my primary form of treatment. A lot of my  medical health care is covered by Medicare and Medicaid and I appreciate that but the only solutions that I mostly get are pharmacudical ones which is no longer working for me since I'm really tired of the pills.

Holistic health care helps speed up the body's ability to recover quickly without the negative side effects. There us a vast difference in treatment and healing. Herbal and holistic alternatives promote a healthier lifestyle.

Some of my approaches have been to drink plenty of water, I walk more, and I get more rest/sleep. I place myself in a stress reduced environment. I eat healthier.  I take physical therapy and mental health therapy.  I take cannabis and physical therapy for pain treatment. I drink herbal tea for cold/flu. 

Beyond that there are other therapies that I'm not yet able to afford. For instance, massage therapy or Reiki would be helpful. Assistance from an herbalist and/or a naturopath would be helpful. Salt therapy is helpful. Essential oils assist greatly. I would greatly benefit from chiropractic and colon hydrotherapy as well as acupuncture and sound/vibration therapy, too.

I've come a long way from before when I was given opiates for pain treatment. My decision to refuse certain pain treatment options has greatly improved my life. However I still hurt, just not as much. Now I want to tackle the mental health pharmacudical options prescribed to me by replacing them with more natural and holistic methods. I understand that mental health is very important. I understand that the pills prescribed to me are meant to treat my ailments to the extent that I can exist in humanity as "normal" as possible. At the same time, I know that the pills are hurting me with their side effects and I'm not okay with that. I am learning tools in mental health therapy that are changing the way I approach my mental health issues and in time I hope to be off all pharmacy meds.

 

Tingling Tingles

I'm getting tingling. It started yesterday but went away. It's back now. I have no idea where the tingles come from but they are in my feet, my legs, my fingers and my lips. I'm glad they are not constant but I am a bit concerned.

Pain is back in the interim

This head pain has come back.  Head massage helps but it comes and goes still.  I hope it's gone by March when I see my neurologist again.

A friend asked what I do to rid the pain.  Since the head massage is only temporary, I really don't know how to answer that question. I'm still trying to figure it the solution. I hope I find more permanent relief. Trigeminal Neuralgia and overall head pain is no joke.

Stabbing head pain

All day I have had periodical periods of time when I have this stabbing pain in my head. The pain is in the top and back of my head. It seems to hurt moreso when I'm sitting or standing up. Right now I have just taken a Carbamazepine and am laying down listening to soothing zen music.

Music is very therapeutic. Though I'd rather be watching videos (another one of my therapies), I'm glad to have a rest from pain.

Excruciating Painful Gums feeling better

I suppose Carbamazepine works because since I've been taking it the excruciating pain has stopped. I thank GOD because just by researching the type of pain I was in allowed me to not go off the deep end. That pain was real for sure.

I've skipped two doses and the pain has stopped for sure, but just to be safe I will continue to take it as instructed three times per day. I hate having medicines in my body. Nothing, however,has ever prepared me for a pain so excruciating. If anyone has ever even had a serious nerve issue or tooth pain in the mouth they'll see why I continue to use the term "excruciating".

Two doses free for a bit (I definitely took my third dose), I felt the calmness of moments again. I cannot believe that something so excruciating painful even exists. Nobody should ever be in that type of pain ever. This is why I plan on continuing to research for natural nerve pain relievers. See... Carbamazepine only works for nerves in the mouth. The nerve pain I have in other areas are not affected. How do they do that?

Dizziness

So by the title you can see that the topic is DIZZINESS. But what you didn't know is that it's me that's experiencing it. Upon waking up I get dizzy then I rush to the restroom where I pee and vomit. This is like one of those eating disorder movies. It's real, though. It's awful.

More nerve pain - Trigeminal Neuralgia

My gums made me want to physically pull every tooth I have in my mouth to avoid anymore pain, especially the bottom row. But...this is not a dental issue. It's a nerve issue stemming from my right temple to my lower right jaw throughout my gums. I feel like it's killing me. I've had Bursts of tears so forceful that I feared my head would explode. Loud sobbing and even near screaming. It's horrible. For hours my gums hurt, it hurts and I keep putting ambesol in my mouth, I brush my teeth with a soft brush with organic toothpaste, I take Tylenol, and a heating pad. I even more weed. I'm feel like I'm about to pull my hair out...but I won't because All of this is very temporary.

Trigeminal neuralgia is a kind of nerve pain which can give stabbing or burning sensations down the side of the face, usually on one side only. The pain may only last a few seconds or minutes but may repeat many times during an attack. For some people the face pain is present all the time. Trigeminal neuralgia can be excruciatingly painful.

Trigeminal neuralgia is more common in multiple sclerosis than in the general population and can be confused with dental pain. If you are experiencing these symptoms, you should be assessed to see if it is a symptom of your MS especially before you consider any major dental work. The dentist says it may be MS related.

The pain can be triggered by every day activities such as eating, shaving, talking or by being out in even a light breeze. Noticing any triggers can help you manage the pain by avoiding them where possible. Treatment is usually with a drug called carbamazepine to begin with. If drug treatments are not working, surgery may be an option.

I'm going to call my Dr and/or nurse this morning to see what can be done about this. I'm going to specifically ask about carbamazepine because this is no way to live and I've got to be here. I want to be here. I'm fighting to live. Please support MS awareness.

The story behind my left knee

There's a spot on my skin right above my right knee that itches and burns so bad that I want to dig into my skin. No matter how much I scratch it, or put cool rags on it or whatever I can think to sooth it,  it still continues to itch. But there's nothing there. Doctors cannot find anything wring with it. Well... technically there are nerves there. I have a disease of the central nervous system so anything goes, right?
  It's common for people with MS to experience strange sensations (also known as dysesthesias). Itching is one potential sensory disturbance of MS. It's different from allergic itching because it's not accompanied by a rash or skin irritation. If itching is mild, no treatment is necessary. It also hurts,
  Mine is more than mild, but I choose not to medicate with pharmacy meds for this. I just try not to scratch as much (i rub instead). And I make sure the area is clean, and I pray alot. I have a plan.
  Medical marijuana has been shown to ease the symptoms for those who suffer with neuropathic pain.  Neuropathic pain is a specific type of pain that has usually resulted from irritation or damage to a nerve. Some of these strains are Chem Dawg, Super Silver Haze, Super Silver Sour Diesel Haze,  and AK47 (there are others as well).
  See, things can be treated naturally if you have the money to be able to either grow it or purchase it. It's one's choice on how they choose to medicate. We don't always have to go with what a doctor prescribes if something natural and organic can do the same justice. I live in a state where I can grow six plants or more so I'd like to grow one of these strains if possible. I've tried some of these strains and they do help.

https://mymsaa.org/ms-information/symptoms/pain/

The Relapse: RRMS and how it affects me

From May-June 2017 I was in a Multiple Sclerosis relapse. For an average of thirty days I progressively lost use of my right hand. I'm better now, by God's grace. My heart goes out to all MS patients and the ones who care for them, the families who are affected by it, and especially those newly diagnosed. It's one hell of a ride fighting this monster but it's doable. I decided to use my left hand.

Decisions,lol. My left hand wasn't close behind the right considering I'm right handed. I had to LEARN to use my right hand and when I tell you it was challenging...whew, it was.  But I did it. I couldn't write but I could feed myself after practice (until then hubby fed me or I ate finger foods). With an auto immune disease/chronic illnesses such as Multiple Sclerosis, if course my panic anxiety was on full blast and so was my depression. I panicked because I was unsure of what else was going to "go out".

I'm now on Gilenya since May 24, 2017 (a disease modifying drug or DMD) that is said to slow down the progression of Multiple Sclerosis. So far I have not felt horrible like I did with Rebif, the old dmd I took. I take a pill instead of injections like before but I still long to be med free like I was prior to the relapse.

Making Up The Bed

Lately every time I say I'm hurting, everyone around me says that they are hurting too.  I suppose it makes me feel like I'm not alone.  Weird, right...connected by pain.  For me, making the bed is a hard thing to do because it really hurts my arms.  I'm sitting here, just having made the bed, and my arms feel like i've been lifting weights.  My reality is that nobody truly understands this, so i've stopped asking for help all the time. For what?  If I depend on others, the bed won't get made.  So I do it in pain because I have to.  The same way I have to live this life in pain.   

Back against the wall

Honestly, my back feels all sorts of broken. I'm in pain and I hate it. I can't sit straight because my back hurts. I can't sit crooked either without pain. I really can't get comfortable.

I'm smoking Tangerine Kush. I got it from Lotus Medical and was told it's very strong. See, it's known to relieve pain and allow for relaxation.

I'm in the process of renewing my "red card". It's actually purple, which makes the color a returning favorite of mine. I used to love the color purple which is why in 1983 I discovered Alice Walker's THE COLOR PURPLE.   I was in the 5th grade. That book shocked me, much like this back pain is now. Everything is like this pain because I don't know what it feels like not to have it.

I'm laying on my side now. I tried laying on my back, but it's too sore.  I feel like this is skeletal pain. I don't want to take pain meds for it so that cannabis is helping. I also got bath bombs (I hope they work). I think without cannabis, I'd lose it. I'd surely have to take opiates which I do not want to do again. I'm going from lots of medications to none and I want to keep it that way. Cannabis allows me to relax so that the pain is tolerable at least.

I hope nobody else gets MS.

I feel trapped inside this pain. I'm panicked like my back is against the wall and if I don't improve I will deteriorate. I need to take yoga, at least, but I'm so sore. Regular exercise like sit ups and push-ups are unbearable. I'm stuck.

I'm not the only one. I've got a friend whose back pain is so severe that she is in tears. I wish I could cry about my pain but crying would probably hurt. My body hurts like I've been struck by a moving vehicle. My mind is all over the place. Guess I'll smoke. 

Caregiver Duties

Top 10 Duties of a Caregiver

Although a caregiver’s work varies with different sets of duties each day, there are some basic tasks that remain the same when caring for a parent or senior loved one.

Take a look at these top duties of a caregiver to learn more about caregiver responsibilities and the rewards that come from caring for a loved one:

1. Prepare a Care Plan

Preparing a care plan that addresses your patient’s strengths and weaknesses is necessary to create when beginning your caregiving journey, so that you can determine how many hours of care a day your loved one will require.

2. Assess Medical Needs

Does your patient have prescription medication or need help with pain management? Meet with a doctor who can assess your loved one and create a medical care plan so that you can provide medical assistance at home.

3. Monitor Medication

Monitor your patent's medication according to their medical care plan, which should specify your duties and what times of day you should provide medical assistance to them.

4. Assist with Basic Needs

Assist your loved one with their basic needs, which could include: bathing, grooming and toileting.

5. Prepare Meals

Food preparation becomes increasingly difficult as we age. You can help your parent by doing their grocery shopping or preparing their meals, and by monitoring their nutrition.

6. Housekeeping

Maintaining a home takes more time as we age and become less active. You can provide assistance to a loved one by doing dishes, vacuuming or taking out the garbage.

7. Transfer

Your patient may have difficulty transferring – from bed in the morning to chair in the afternoon, for instance. Be prepared to help them move and make them comfortable.

8. Transport

Transporting your loved one to doctor’s appointments and other activities will become a common caregiving duty.

9. Companionship

In the midst of all these duties, it’s easy to forget one of the most important parts of caregiving – companionship. Focus on how rewarding it is to care for your parent and know how thankful they are to have you too. When you are challenged, these inspirational caregiver tips can help you put things back into perspective.

10. Monitor Performance

Finally, look at your loved one’s care plans,monitor the performance of their care and speak with a medical professional if any adjustments need to be made.

These duties are essential caregiving tasks, but it’s also important to remember to adjust them as necessary for the patient or senior that you’re caring for.

What has your caregiving journey been like with your patient? Do you have any caregiving duties that you would like to add to this list? Share your suggestions with us in the comments below.

http://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/8-18-15-top-10-duties-of-a-caregiver/

Finding myself

The whole thing about my account was a false alarm, but it showed me just how panicky I am. Not to be able to trust anyone is very hard; to be in the world in a sensitive mental state is scary.  Depression, anxiety, ptsd, trauma from it all, just everything is quite overwhelming, and I want to be "normal" again.

I remember years ago when I checked myself into an anger management program. I had to learn how to deal with my anger issues without resulting to violence.  It was hard not to just knock the heck out of someone if they rubbed me wrong, or to stop imagining doing something harmful to them; so I took the program and to this day it still works for me.  Because I know therapy works, I don't feel so helpless; so I went to a new program for victims of trauma.

I appreciate my medical team for assisting me in getting set up with this new program.  I am a complete advocate for therapy if it's to help someone.  As I stated in the video, it's a commitment but I committed to getting better for myself and for my family.  I was surprised at how many of us (in the group) were struggling financially because where we live it's expensive (but we are here primarily because our health care is very good).  It was scary being around other's as afraid as I was, but the life coach in me was able to come and give some of the women the feeling that they were not alone.  I was quite surprised, but being around a circle of women (it's female only with the exception of my dog #kochecooper ) did not freak me out.  The best part is that I felt safe and hubby was there to meet me when I got out.  That's still my one steady stability as far as my world goes at the moment.  I was afraid that hearing other women's stories would trigger something in me, but we didn't get deep into issues and so it was a really safe zone.  Day 1 of getting better, and of finding myself. 

And I didn't even cry today.

Identity issues

I'm so hurt right now. He checked the mail and a letter from someone had come informing me that my new direct deposit would be going through. I dont know how this could be true because in reality never was able to complete the request.. I'd meant to but got the wrong info so I was going tomorrow.  Today is Sunday, I'm going Monday so how can this request be in?

So I freaked out. They are closed today, so is my doctor,  so is my manager.  How did this happen?

People that I trust have my personal information but I handle my own business so I'm afraid someone has used my identity again.

It goes deeper than that. On a spiritual level I feel cursed and alone. Seems like I've had it bad since day one. I really have to question my existence because life cannot be this horrific.  I'm terrified and it's as if I have to depend on the enemy in order to get by. I don't feel safe. I don't know who to trust. I don't know why any of this os happening to me.

My skin itches, and my legs hurt and I am huddled up in my room...'Done cried my eyes out'. I'm sick.  But I won't harm myself...what, and rid myself of all this awesome torture and determination? No, apparently someone or something will surely kill me, because I just keep going and going and going on this hellish existence out if respect for my creator, the universe, and because my life is not my own to take. I'm stuck.

I thank God I have a bed to sleep in, shelter, the kitchen stuff tho meek just perfect because I have lost my desire and will to eat solid foods, but I just very healthy twice a day at least so I'm getting pure organic nutrients.

I can't stop the images now. Every bad thing and recent conversations and ...just all sorts of thoughts race through my mind right now. I do not want to talk to anyone. I want to sleep or game. I hate that I've seen movies like the terminator and like anything that brings me into more hell and violence. 

This is the life of me, raw freak out moment. I'm going to take a nap. I refuse to take a xanax.  I had some cannabis so I'm beginning to relax a bit.

While I'm Away

So pretty much my life is in full panic mode.  I can bare a smile for my children but for the rest of the world, I stay unseen.  PTSD is horrible horrible horrible. I'm going to have to go to a trauma group (20 sessions) and hopefully I can escape this nightmare I'm in.  And now I'm on new meds AGAIN and still can't see the specialist i need to see.  And to think...I was doing so well.

I really trust nobody.  I can't help it.  The world lies to me, corners me, and is never there for me.  I want my kids in therapy but nobody listens to me.  I'm barely writing this because I want everyone to know that PTSD on top of MS pretty much has me in the worst depression ever in life.  As if that could ever happen, right? They're worried about me.  I am too.

Friggin' Nervous Breakdown.

I find moments when I can completely calm down with the help of medication to have a very simple but important conversation, then i'm back off into my world because I can't be in everyone else's world.  I only pull myself together for the important stuff then I crumble again, sometimes during. It's really hard. I'm trying to stay to myself so I won't have triggers. And I often fear someone will put me in a hospital but my doctor told me today that I'm just traumatised and nobody would do that to me for that; it's not my fault. I'm always feeling set-up, though.  Weird to explain.  I'm stuck in this place in this time with my mind and so hopefully these meds and therapy will help me out of this hell.

I love my new room.  I haven't decorated yet but I love it.  The person I wanted to help me decorate ...well, i'll have to do it by myself and i'm fine with white walls for now.  I'm too short to climb up on things and my equilibrium is a bit off so I can't stand of anything anyway.  People don't understand that.

Doc is proud of me for gaming again  I can't stay awake that long to play but I try to get in at least three days a week. I really don't want to do it but it's a part of the therapy.  I really don't want to do anything other than sleep.  And I did 8 pushups which was amazing.  Now i'm hurting but that's normal.

It's a severe weather alert going on which means I get to sleep incredibly.  I pray these new meds are not going to harm me.  I plan on using my dehydrator tomorrow to see what it can do since I have some left over veggies from my smoothies.  I've lost all kind of weight so today I forced myself to eat something other than drinking a smoothie.  I hate eating.  I hope I get out of all of this nonsense, really.  

June Gives Me Love Once Again

It's been a long time since I've been super happy, but I AM.  After so much that we've had to endure in this relocation to Colorado, we finally see the silver lining.  We have a new apartment as of June 10th; a new home.  June has always been a special month for us, for it's when we officially eloped to be wed. June 29th to be exact, so we're right on time, I think.

 We are incredibly thankful to GOD, so very grateful.  Along the way there were those who prayed for us, and those who pitched in to assist.  Living in poverty is the reality for so many chronically ill patients, and in my situation where my spouse is also my caretaker, we've not been excluded from that group of patients.  Being on my own since the age of 16 has been a true journey in itself, but now that I Am someone living with multiple sclerosis and PTSD along with a host of mental and physical conditions  including chronic pain, it's become more difficult. 

There are a lot of other things we needed aside of housing.  Housing will allow us to spend time with our children, for sure, because we have a place for them to come "home" to.  I love "home".  Home is where you make it, for sure, but being in a comfortable and conducive situation is the recipe for a happy home.  I'm striving for that. We came out here with nothing, so once again I'm having to start over.  We need a bed, a sofa, kitchen utensils/accessories, etc.  My husband is working long hours to help provide our needs, but since he's my only caregiver he is limited on what he can do and how much he can do it because he pretty much takes me wherever he goes to ensure my safety.  Until we get "there" financially, it's a struggle. But the best part is not once did he give up on me.  If he did, i'd surely be devastated and I have no idea what that relapse would entail, so I keep prayer in my marriage and in my family life. 

Joy Boy Promotions, Sir Joel Cooper, Binns Al Ndee Al Apache Tribe, and Venita Gaines pitched in first.  Then came Anthony Stuart, Broadway Smoke Shop, Teldren Young, Shanda Howard, Bernice Gardenhire, Victorious Personal and Professional Empowerment Coalition, Wayne Hobbs, and Smoketown Knave.  Most recently Genevvive Toland and Eden Lorvil have pitched in as well. 

Pitching in means assisting me in being able to LIVE with Multiple Sclerosis.  I'm 100% disabled, and now I totally get that. As much as I try to thrive in life, the disability does indeed hinder me.  COmpleting projects has been really hard, but with the assistance of my team it can happen (however i'm rebuilding my team after taking a really bad setback from betrayal).  I feel better with massage therapy to relieve my chronic pain, but again it's too difficult due to cost.  Everything costs.  Everything I need costs.  Things that I don't need due to the dangerous aftermath is pretty much free due to insurance smh.  I wish those things came with life insurance policies smh. So I ask for assistance via donations and my team (those I do have in my corner) and I will help give them exposure/promotions/advertising if they need it. I'm not asking for handouts,just sincere donations with or without expectations. 

This new apartment is the start for a happier life for me. I hope that my husband continues to work hard for his family and I hope people will care enough to help me by donating.  I hope to see ALL my children next month and if not SOME. I hope that my pain will subside (thanks to hubby for picking me up some Aporthcanna relieving body cream from Life Flower Dispensary).  I hope I'll get better.  I hope this touches someone who doesn't have a home to know that prayer and hard work works and sometimes people do pitch in to help us succeed. I hope others will see the light in me and continue to donate so that my light will not dim.  I have faith in all of this.  Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. 

Multiple Sclerosis Phoenix Healing Center Retreat Program

UPDATE:  THIS WAS A SCAM COME TO FIND OUT :(

After finding out the wonders of cannabis, I wanted to share generously with anyone suffering with MS whose still able-bodied.  I made a post today about the what we've been making plans and ideas about...a Multiple Sclerosis Healing House 'Phoenix" Center. 

"I'm looking for a single female MS patient 21 or older (no couples, no children) who is interested in living in a MS Healing house as a roommate. This retreat is peaceful and we don't want to be distracted by any relationship drama, which is why I say single. Sometimes you are in a position where you can take a break from everyday life, just pay the bare minimum, and live among the pure. That's where we are.

Your retreat includes a Private room and shared bath. All residents are MS patients on disability and are each others emotional support (currently there are two MS patient residents). Its a real Zen enviornment. We are on the way to heal ourselves naturally with organic diets and natural plants and herbs that we can grow ourselves including cannabis as well as exercise, therapy, and more. With new reported discoveries being revealed all the time, we know that cannabis is reversing health issues and making gelreat strides in possible cures.

Arts & Crafts, cooking lessons, long scenic drives, sewing, pottery, dance, fitness, yoga...the relaxation of being in your own environment is second to none. This is a time to make your dreams come true when it comes to your health regimine.  We invite others to our home away from home in search of a cure. As we treat ourselves to edibles that relax our anxiety, pain, and more and group therapy to end the madness, delightful walks, outdoor photography, massage therapy, movie night and more the experience of getting better will keep you coming back for ... even more.

It's for the patient that wants better for themselves. It's for the patient that feels like no matter what they say, there has to be a better way (a natural way). This roommate obviously would need to be in or be willing to relocate to Colorado for this to be a reality.

The room is available on a month to month basis based off of each patients individual needs, and each patient has individual goals that they are supported in meeting. Its a place where the MS patient doesn't feel alone.

This is not a nursing home, just a healing home. It's a home where we can support one another and slowly change our MS around by eating right, living stress free, exploring the healing miracles of cannabis, and grow our own nourishment.

I have been now 18 days on our program and I'm already experiencing benefits, AND I'm not taking meds (but I have them on standby). Though not everyone is able to completely eliminate pills, the "treatment" does help you slowly eliminate them and replace with natural remidies. It's for people that want to get better, not those who have given up and unfortunately not for people that can't do anything for themselves. For those that don't qualify, we offer off site options.

The scenery is beautiful and fantastic. If you look afar, you'll see gorgeous mountains. There are beautiful fields and plains. The air is crisp and clear. The weather is nice summer warmth. I've seen the most beautiful sunsets here. Tranquil. It's quiet here, and very therapeutic. We will be gardening, growing fresh fruits and vegetables. We also foster kittens, dogs, and birds. Pet therapy is great for MS patients, and so is giving back.

NOW TAKING APPLICATIONS for an immediate move in date. 

We have a space with ONE 12' x 13' furnished bedroom, (with a queen sized bed), available for someone needing to come to or who is already in Colorado for access to our Medical Marijuana program. ONLY a legitimate patient will be considered. I need someone who is NOT totally disabled, has a vehicle, an adequate source of income to cover all their expenses and who wants to participate in the functioning of this house.

We have a very unique situation for the right person. We have established a healing household and are seeking someone who will fit into our small community. You must be at a point where you WANT to heal yourself. Staying stuck for sympathy will not work here.

If you know what it means to be awake, are on your own spiritual journey, want to be part of a group of people who are taking care of most of our medical needs in this alternative way, you might be the perfect one to join us. We are three patients with serious medical conditions who are working together for the benefit of the entire household. Our goal is to be as self sufficient and sustaining as possible. We have an organic, non-GMO, non-addictive behaviors including alcohol, mindset with everything we are doing.

The house is 30 minutes from the Denver airport in Bennett, Colorado, 20 minutes from the eastern most edge of Aurora, Colorado.

Passing a background check is required, ($40 fee mandatory), and an in person interview so we both may meet the new prospect. When approved, one month's security deposit and one month's rent are required before moving in. This rental will be on a month-to-month basis for a while to determine compatibility after joining the household. You will need a vehicle, be capable and willing to participate in the activities of running the house with the rest of us.

Share kitchen, living room, family room, bath, wi-fi, satellite, on street parking, other facilities...
Sorry, no pets as I have a service dog and several other therapy critters.

Rent is $500 PLUS split utilities FIRM.
To apply click here"  and I posted a link to the property Craigslist ad.

MS is such a stressful disease, and I just wanted a place of "our" own because sometimes the outside world just doesn't get it. Because we are disabled, the roommate patient would need to be able to hold their own financially. Patients receiving disability checks are better for this house because they don't have to worry about not being able to pay rent because they have guaranteed funds. This is independent assisted living, which I find works best for us MS patients.

But before moving forward, I realized and I have learned to live in peace and I know stress causes relapses so we do our best to keep stress down here. Since arriving in Bennett, where this house is located, I've sensed certain stress. Ring worm is in the house from the animals, and neighbors are not neighborly towards each other. And gospel music is hated. Smh.  And non alchohol seemed weird seeing as there was beer in the fridge all the time. So I'm not sure now. Its too early. 

Wherever I decide to do the MS House, here it somewhere else, For those who can't go outdoors, there will be indoor activities. Rest is accepted and encouraged. For those who can go outdoors, we do take trips to the wonders of Colorado such as restaurants, tours, mountains, and more.

I'm gonna do this. Phoenix reminds me of rising and the meds I take is called Phoenix Tears, so we shall see....dream still in the making.

The Broken Promise

I couldn't do it.   Last night I could not take the Gabapentin.   I made a promise that I really shouldn't have made because I'm too paranoid about this medication.   I read so many testimonies about how you're not supposed to stop taking the medication suddenly and the effects that you will have if you do.   That sounds like a lifetime commitment.   And most of the side effects that people complain about is something I just don't want to have to deal with in my life; I've dealt with too much already.  

I'm going to have to talk with the doctor a little bit longer before I can be on the same page with her about medication.   I'm not trying to go against doctor's orders but at the same time I'm not trying to take something experimental.   Gabapentin isn't even for multiple sclerosis.   I have not found a medication that will stop the multiple sclerosis from attacking my body Point Blank Period.   It's not fair to expect someone to take things that's going to prohibit them from having a longer life.   A  classmate of mine who is a physician told me about a surgery that is being done that is ridding people of Multiple Sclerosis,  however I cannot find anything stating for certain that Multiple Sclerosis can be cured and therefore I'm not going under the knife.  

I know that for me even being off Xanax continuously has been a blessing.  Looking at its side effects doesn't help anything either there's a whole list where that comes from.   So really I don't know what medication I should be taking.   If the doctors are going to prescribe things with so many side effects and instill so much fear inside of me, I'm not going to be able to relax at all.   I do pretty good with cannabis it has taken me off of everything else and it doesn't have those side effects.   I'm still researching.

Concerns about Gabapentin

Dr. Sheldon reiterated that I needed to take the Gabapentin medication that I've been prescribed. I’ve heard many times before at office visits that this prescribed the drug for me would be ultimately helpful.  I was first prescribed Gabapentin in Atlanta Georgia and I have a lot of the bottles because every time they put me on pills I pretty much start getting paranoid when I read all of the side effects.

Well I promised Dr.  Shelton in front of Mallory that I would take these pills and I will try to remember to take them so that they can work.  Last night I took the dose as promised.  Dr. Sheldon says that I can take Gabapentin with Elavi (my depression medication)l and she feels that if I take the Xanax I only need to do so in extreme cases. She wants me off of Zanex.  Last night I took Gabapentin and Elavil so that I can go to sleep.  I already have problems going to sleep with the phobias that I suffered with on my way to sleep and as  I started to doze off I began to become frantic in my mind. I kept thinking that I was about to die I kept clinging to my husband so that at least be i’d be with him if I slipped off (passed away) because it really didn't feel good.  He was sleep, and I was having a full fledge SEVERE panic attack.  At one point I felt like I couldn’t breath, but then I just succumbed to the medicine. This  morning I was happy to be alive.

My mind was on the conflicted discussion I had the other day.  It was pretty intense. Whoever I was during that whole fiasco isn’t who I want to be.  Typically  I never really speak like that anymore, so it troubles me.  Then I decided to look up the effects of Gabapentin.  I'm reading this blog http://www.peoplespharmacy.com/2012/05/26/gabapentin-side-effects/  and I Became extremely worried. The people on the blog said that Gabapentin is addictive they also said that the side effects are horrible as I read the side effects I began to notice some of the things that we're going on in my life since I've been taking Gabapentin. I've had severe constipation and so have other again Gabapentin uses I've had  my temper being really short fused  just like other Gabapentin users. AND so forth. I’m in no way trying to be difficult, but I’m really scared of this even though Dr. Sheldon said it’s not harmful.