The Broken Promise

I couldn't do it.   Last night I could not take the Gabapentin.   I made a promise that I really shouldn't have made because I'm too paranoid about this medication.   I read so many testimonies about how you're not supposed to stop taking the medication suddenly and the effects that you will have if you do.   That sounds like a lifetime commitment.   And most of the side effects that people complain about is something I just don't want to have to deal with in my life; I've dealt with too much already.  

I'm going to have to talk with the doctor a little bit longer before I can be on the same page with her about medication.   I'm not trying to go against doctor's orders but at the same time I'm not trying to take something experimental.   Gabapentin isn't even for multiple sclerosis.   I have not found a medication that will stop the multiple sclerosis from attacking my body Point Blank Period.   It's not fair to expect someone to take things that's going to prohibit them from having a longer life.   A  classmate of mine who is a physician told me about a surgery that is being done that is ridding people of Multiple Sclerosis,  however I cannot find anything stating for certain that Multiple Sclerosis can be cured and therefore I'm not going under the knife.  

I know that for me even being off Xanax continuously has been a blessing.  Looking at its side effects doesn't help anything either there's a whole list where that comes from.   So really I don't know what medication I should be taking.   If the doctors are going to prescribe things with so many side effects and instill so much fear inside of me, I'm not going to be able to relax at all.   I do pretty good with cannabis it has taken me off of everything else and it doesn't have those side effects.   I'm still researching.

Concerns about Gabapentin

Dr. Sheldon reiterated that I needed to take the Gabapentin medication that I've been prescribed. I’ve heard many times before at office visits that this prescribed the drug for me would be ultimately helpful.  I was first prescribed Gabapentin in Atlanta Georgia and I have a lot of the bottles because every time they put me on pills I pretty much start getting paranoid when I read all of the side effects.

Well I promised Dr.  Shelton in front of Mallory that I would take these pills and I will try to remember to take them so that they can work.  Last night I took the dose as promised.  Dr. Sheldon says that I can take Gabapentin with Elavi (my depression medication)l and she feels that if I take the Xanax I only need to do so in extreme cases. She wants me off of Zanex.  Last night I took Gabapentin and Elavil so that I can go to sleep.  I already have problems going to sleep with the phobias that I suffered with on my way to sleep and as  I started to doze off I began to become frantic in my mind. I kept thinking that I was about to die I kept clinging to my husband so that at least be i’d be with him if I slipped off (passed away) because it really didn't feel good.  He was sleep, and I was having a full fledge SEVERE panic attack.  At one point I felt like I couldn’t breath, but then I just succumbed to the medicine. This  morning I was happy to be alive.

My mind was on the conflicted discussion I had the other day.  It was pretty intense. Whoever I was during that whole fiasco isn’t who I want to be.  Typically  I never really speak like that anymore, so it troubles me.  Then I decided to look up the effects of Gabapentin.  I'm reading this blog http://www.peoplespharmacy.com/2012/05/26/gabapentin-side-effects/  and I Became extremely worried. The people on the blog said that Gabapentin is addictive they also said that the side effects are horrible as I read the side effects I began to notice some of the things that we're going on in my life since I've been taking Gabapentin. I've had severe constipation and so have other again Gabapentin uses I've had  my temper being really short fused  just like other Gabapentin users. AND so forth. I’m in no way trying to be difficult, but I’m really scared of this even though Dr. Sheldon said it’s not harmful.