Excruciating Painful Gums feeling better

I suppose Carbamazepine works because since I've been taking it the excruciating pain has stopped. I thank GOD because just by researching the type of pain I was in allowed me to not go off the deep end. That pain was real for sure.

I've skipped two doses and the pain has stopped for sure, but just to be safe I will continue to take it as instructed three times per day. I hate having medicines in my body. Nothing, however,has ever prepared me for a pain so excruciating. If anyone has ever even had a serious nerve issue or tooth pain in the mouth they'll see why I continue to use the term "excruciating".

Two doses free for a bit (I definitely took my third dose), I felt the calmness of moments again. I cannot believe that something so excruciating painful even exists. Nobody should ever be in that type of pain ever. This is why I plan on continuing to research for natural nerve pain relievers. See... Carbamazepine only works for nerves in the mouth. The nerve pain I have in other areas are not affected. How do they do that?

Talking With Strangers AKA Health Care System

I missed my appointment with Dr. Sheldon by 10 minutes yesterday and got turned away.  I went into severe anxiety and depression because she didn't even know anything about a letter for my service animal so that I can get into housing.  How can someone spill their entire guts to you and then you don't even remember that one of the main things holding them up in emotional turmoil is the fact that they miss their children and need housing asap?  How can you forget that you told them you could provide a letter? How can I trust her to medicate me for my conditions if she doesn't even know me, if i'm just another number on her file list.  I feel sickened. I hate confiding in strangers.  It's sad when you call your doctor a stranger, but actions speak louder than words.

Sent a letter to my temporary case manager, Geri.  :(

Of course the heat is totally making me weak.

So once I get the letter I should be okay to move.

Look Me Up

I used to have the motto "I will sleep when I'm dead" and was a member of the #nosleepcrew. I was approaching Fourty and for the life of me, I couldn't slow down. And then I relapsed, and while in relapse had my identity stolen, a partner desert me, had hardly anyone check on me and my kids, and it was bad. It was crazy and I had no help.

When I came close out of the relapse, my place was a shambles and there was a pest infestation in the building I was in and I just wanted out because management wouldn't move me or resolve the problem. Because I wouldn't pay the rent,  I had to go to eviction court and because I could not speak for myself due to nervous feelings, I got evicted. I didn't have it in me to fight, so  I began to find my way back into the world. I had a lot of Fatigue, but I pushed through. I was on about twenty active meds at the time, and was scaling them down slowly but surely. Pills kill. That was in 2011. My, how time flies.

"My best advice for anyone that doesn't understand MS is to load them up with books, watch "When I Walk" available on Netflix, or have them attend an MS dinner with a good program.... Youtube has some very good videos as well.  If they are unwilling to learn more, ask why"  posted someone in one of the MS support groups I'm in. People truly don't get it yet, and I hope they will soon. I go through so much and yet I'm still here, just fighting for a chance. I'm blogging while laying on my back and before I laid to the side then before that I propped myself on my elbows. I can't sit up very long without hurting and I have to move around and pretty much lay in all kinds of positions to find comfort. It's exhausting..really everything hurts but I'm treating for the pain. I'm learning to grow my own medications and this means I will live longer. I don't want what happened to me before to happen again ever. I'm safe now, but I don't want to be sick any longer. I'm fighting for a cure.

Please take the time out to research Multiple Sclerosis. I say look me up, but what I want you to do is research this disease that I have. I share my story so that it's told, and also to help others. I am writing 4 MS awareness. There's no cure but I'm fighting to live and hopefully by spreading awareness I can help save others from what I've experienced. My advice to anyone with MS is to build their support team so that they can take care of their family and take care of their health. I'm fighting so hard and I'm tired...and I choose to sleep now because Fatigue is kicking my but, but I'm not dead.

Being in the plains near the mountains, I'm  in fresh air and sun. The sun is hot for me since Colorado sits high and is closer to the sun. I can't perform in the heat but when it cools down I go outdoors. I do yard work and climb stairs and walk dogs everyday, so I'm getting plenty of exercise (and soreness). By nightfall I'm tired already and with my treatment I'm able to fall asleep with no problem. Day 15 with no Temazepam... And for an insomniac like me its amazing.

Our teacher had me watch Super Soul Sundays and it really hit me back on my path. Rafael is ensuring that I get better and this is the first time I've been supportive of a MS treatment...most times non of the pills actually work and do more harm than good.

In July 2015 I'm still dealing with identify theft issues, but I'm also pill free. Now I have to find the treatments for some of the other symptoms. I'm trying to document more so that we have records. So much of my life has disappeared from my memory so I want to capture the rest of it by writing so a cure can be found. If I can help other MS patients live a drug Free existence, I will.

Cannabis is not a drug. It's a plant. And GOD gave it to us. It's our right and our hope for today.

 

Day 10

My head hurts and I've had a long day. A piece of me left today, but I know that I will have new beginnings. It's hard dealing with disabled patients. I'm doing that already, having survived day 10 with still no xanex, hydrocodone, Temazepam, Mirtazapine, Amitriptyline, BC Powder, or Risperdal. Nice little cocktail, huh? That's not including the other headache meds my insurance won't cover. This, however, is the beginning of the struggle. My supply is nearly gone.

With treatments being costly, I am thankful for the opportunity to do something greater. I've worked hard to get to this point. I want to make sure I can continue getting stronger and better (and wiser).

Last night I got terribly upset from stress and I suffered a night time fright (night terror). I had to end up sleeping with the light on. I know I'm safe, but sometimes night frights can't be helped. As a patient with not only MS but also PTSD and a few other disorders, I'm thankful that my husband/caretaker is standing by me and not giving up on the dream. I find comfort in that. I took some phonix tears and tincture and soon found myself asleep in a safe zone.

My treatments are now at three times a day. Smoothies have been introduced into our diet, and we are loving the fruit we're drinking. Organic is the way to go.

I hope to be cured of MS one day. I hope to live a "normal" life. Spirit has shown me the path in which to go and faith will see us there. Falling asleep now, I dream of those better days and am ever so thankful for this chance at life.

Co Caretaker Needed

Its hard being independent when you have to be dependent on others. I need help with these little things like paperwork but here I am, trying to do it all on my own from transportation to calling the offices for additional info or deadlines. I need someone else besides me to set appointments that i need. I need for someone to pack my bag for my next outing. These little things can be too overwhelming for me, I see.  I need an assistant caregiver  ASAP who can feasibly help me. It's hard to verbalize that. People are used to me doing that for myself but it's hard.

For someone like me, this was never an easy thing to admit to. My mind is often lost, in a constant state of fog. I speak intelligent and am wise, but with things that are.... well some things just don't come to me like they should it would so I need help.

One of my fellow MS'ers said that I needed to tell someone that I needed help. "You need to ask someone. I know it's hard to admit you can't do everything yourself anymore, but please do."  I told her, " I do but this is super difficult. I feel like if I'm getting help I still expect it to be done right and constant. It's hard reminding someone to remind me to take my meds, Lol. I have four bottles of vitamins so I won't run out and I still forget to take them everyday and Nobody is  reminding me, either, even though I asked them to. Of course I've forgotten about it and I've forgotten that I had asked someone else to remind me,Lol. I really feel lost, but I can laugh about it because at least I'm loved. I'm settling for less than the best care, I know. That's why admit i need HELP.  I'm gonna keep admitting it until someone listens or reads". 

Another fellow ms'er said " You have made the first step with the feeling of helplessness.  I trust  there is someone out there that will help. ", and as she closed her message to me she added that I was  "totally amazing". I thanked her and replied, "You know what? I'm sure of that. I know GOD didn't leave me here to do this all alone and I know he will send someone to help us all here in my family, not just me but my caregivers that I do have by way of family. I do have a lot of help but I know since more is needed, more will come." I  thanked her  so much for responding to my post...and told her that she was  totally amazing too.

I called social security administration today to get an extension on the forms they requested be completed in ten days, which is Sunday, and I couldn't reach them at all besides a voicemail left on my agents co-worker's voicemail,  as she was filling in first my agent. The woman I initially spoke with told me that because I was dealing with a federal agency I would always have to fill out forms and that's when I knew I'd need a caretaker for this. How am I even able to fill these things out? I can barely write long-hand. I survive...don't ask me how I do aside of by God's grace. I'm going time started putting BY GOD'S GRACE on all of the answer spaces because it's the truth. Can you feed yourself? BY GOD'S GRACE. What's your day look like. Everyday: I'M HERE BY GOD'S GRACE. That's how I feel! There were moments I could not even Walk, see, or speak and now everything bothers me and I live in constant pain. Rushing me to do paperwork is not going to help me at all aside of it will help me have a chance for continued benefits that I worked for. I can't remember a lot of my life and though I don't want to admit it, this is my reality.

Please donate http://www.gofundme.com/write-4msawareness

The Pressing Seas

Depression is very common in people withmultiple sclerosis (MS). In fact, symptoms of depression severe enough to require medical intervention affect up to half of all people with MS at some point during their illness.

 Honestly I've been suffering from depression all of my life but it did intensify after I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2004 and here to recently in the last year or so.

Why Do People With Multiple Sclerosis Also Have Depression?

Depression may be the result of a difficult situation or stress. It is easy to understand how having MS, with its potential for progressing to permanent disability, can bring on depression.

Depression may be caused by MS. MS may destroy the insulating myelin that surrounds nerves that transmit signals affecting mood.

Depression is also a side effect of some drugs used to treat MS, such as steroids or interferon.

once I began to recognize sentence in my life everything seems to start collapsing right before my eyes. I think it affects my relationships and they suffer because at some point I just don't have the will to even deal with anyone or anything I get so sad I don't even want to go on....thankfully not about life it's just about the situations I'm in I know that they're depressing me I'm not at the harmony I know that man making my health fail and I don't even know if its worth it anymore. the main thing that the presses me lately is things concerning the children and the stressful Situation with my girlfriend's family and ex friends. 

What Are the Symptoms of Depression?

Everyone at one time or another has felt depressed, sad, or blue. Sometimes the feeling of sadness becomes intense, lasting for long periods of time and preventing a person from leading a normal life. This is depression, a mental illness that, if left untreated, can worsen, lasting for years and causing untold suffering, and possibly even resulting in suicide. It is important to recognize the signs of depression, which include:

Sadness

Loss of energy

Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness

Loss of enjoyment from things that were once pleasurable

Difficulty concentrating

Uncontrollable crying

Difficulty making decisions

Irritability

Increased need for sleep

Inability to fall or stay asleep at night (insomnia)

Unexplained aches and pains

Stomachache and digestive problems

Decreased sex drive

Sexual problems

Headache

A change in appetite causing weight loss or gain

Thoughts of death or suicide

Attempting suicide

When to Seek Help for Depression With Multiple Sclerosis

If you have depression along with multiple sclerosis, you should seek help if:

Depression is negatively affecting your life -- causing difficulties with relationships, work issues, or family disputes -- and there isn't a clear solution to these problems.

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts or feelings.

Where Should I Go to Get Help for Depression?

Once you decide to seek medical help, start with your primary doctor. He or she can evaluate you to make sure that medicines or another illness are not causing your symptoms.

Your doctor may prescribe treatment or refer you to a mental health care professional who can perform a thorough assessment so that an effective course of treatment can be recommended.

How Is Depression Treated With Multiple Sclerosis?

If you have multiple sclerosis, the first step in treating depression is recognizing that you are depressed. The second step is seeking help. These two steps may in fact be the hardest part of the entire treatment process. Once you seek help from a qualified health care provider, you will find that there are numerous treatment options to help you get back on track.

Several antidepressant drugs are available, but they must be used only under the supervision of a medical professional. Antidepressant drugs are most effective in treating depression in people with MS when used in conjunction with psychotherapy. Called "therapy" for short, the word psychotherapy actually involves a variety of treatment techniques. During psychotherapy, a person with depression talks to a licensed and trained mental health care professional who helps him or her identify and work through the factors that may be triggering the depression.

Warning Signs of Suicide

If you or someone you know is demonstrating any of the following warning signs, contact a mental health professional right away or go to the emergency room for immediate treatment.

Talking about suicide (killing one's self)

Always talking or thinking about death

Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless

Saying things like "It would be better if I weren't here" or "I want out"

Depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating) that gets worse

A sudden switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy

Having a "death wish," tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, like driving through red lights

Losing interest in things one used to care about

Visiting or calling people one cares about

Putting affairs in order, tying up lose ends, changing a will.

HELP SUPPORT MY QUEST TO RAISE MORE MS AWARENESS http://www.gofundme.com/write-4msawareness