Today I met with Dr. Sheldon. She's a really nice lady. It was easy to talk to her even with the transcriber there and Mallory in the room and of course Koche Cooper, who went with me. So dr. Sheldon and I just really talked and she asked me what some of my symptoms are and what are some of the things that I go through, and again it was really easy to talk to her. But as I began to talk to her she began to tell me what instances my diagnosis’ came into play and that helped out a lot because I know doctors have told me in the past, but I forget why they told me those things. I just kind of take it into my personality or into my identity and speaking with Dr. Sheldon I felt safe and I could really be myself and it felt good to be in that position.
It's hard for me to deal with different doctors. There's a none trust issue that really makes it hard for them to treat me the way that they would like to treat me. Above all else I believe that’s practicing medicine and I know that everything is pretty much experimental because people are all different. We're not all the same. Multiple Sclerosis to me is not the same Multiple Sclerosis as theirs but the thing is we have a lot of similarities. There's some things that the doctor told me that I'm just going to take my time to explore and I'll see her next month
I like Mallory a lot because I don't have another female in my life to take on the feminine things that I need the feminine energy that I need. Mallory can provide a little of that female energy. The doctor talked about my abandonment issues. I didn't tell her that. I didn't tell her a lot. I spoke with her honestly and in a pretty safe mood and I was happy. It's beautiful out here in Denver .I had a really rough night last night with communication and frustration but I woke up this morning happy to be alive and thankful and in a positive space, so I didn't go to dr. Sheldon in a frantic state of mind. I mean I was my normal nervous self but I had Koche Cooper with me and it was alright.
Everyone here respects the fact that I want to go a holistic natural organic route for my treatment, but they are appreciative that I am willing to at least try their practice and to see if it'll work for me. I'm thankful that today I'm only suffering body pain maybe at a 5 or 6 (especially my arms down to the elbows but I'm alright I am very very much all right and I know that I'm worried about my children always, but I know that I'm trying to stay here with them a little bit longer a lot bit longer and to do that I need to have someone to talk to that can help me out of the emotional entrapments that I found myself into.
I am not the same Attica Lundy That I Used to be. I'm not even the same Attica Lundy Cooper that I was in the beginning. But I am the Attica Lundy Cooper that I am today and that's alright. I am going to try my best to get On The Rise Radio and On The Rise Magazine where they need to be because it's a company that's for our future of the world honestly and especially for my children because this from me and of me to them and to their kids and their kids. We have 5 beautiful children that we are very very much proud of and we want to do for them and we have a beautiful grandson that we simply adore and we can't wait until we're at a stable place with my health and our finances that we can all be back together again.
SO, I'm trying my best to be get the word out more as an advocate for safe access of the plant CANNABIS. One way is by telling anyone that can hear me to stop calling it a drug. It's not a drug, it's a plant. An herb. A natural part of the earth's vegetation. Not a drug.
I do not like that my children hear in public schools that marijuana. LIES.
Dr. Allen Zubkin, who is Board Certified in addiction medicine in Florida, says that there is SOUND science that prooves that there are recepters for CBD (cannabidiol)in the brain. CBD is a component in Cannabis. So why would we have CBD receptors in the brain if it's not for us?
For whatever reason, Cabbabis is not legal in all states in the United States of America. And it's so sad because every day someone new has cancer...breast cancer, at that. The same cancer that began the demise of my dear mother's life. I'm sorry, but that's screwed up. I try to tell cancer patients and family members of cancer patients the benefits of cannabis, but most of them can only focus on the "high" effects of THC, another component in cannabis. But there are over SIXTY different components in the cannabis plant, people just need to research.
Cannabis not only helps with Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Sleep Disorders, Chronic Pain, and Cancer.
For more information on what the health benefits of cannabis, please connect with me in the comments below. Because cannabis has not yet been made legal by the Feds in America, cannabis cannot be shipped to anyone via mail systems, so if one isn't in a legal state, they have no access. I moved all the way from Georgia to Colorado for safe access. People think they can't afford to come to Colorado, but if you get flight tickets about 2 or 3 months in advance, you can get them as low as $50 one way or $100 round trip. You don't need tons and tons of baggage, it's not about wardrobe. Nobody cares if you wear the same thing every day, it's not about that.
I don't want to see anyone else die of Cancer or suffer from the medical conditions listed in the chart wheel above. I'm doing my best to make a difference. Let me. Help by spreading the word.
I haven't been writing as much as I planned to. Depression and anxiety disrupted my peace of mind.
After I got my daughter situated, my son who is attending freshman semester of college ran into some snags. He needed a laptop. He needed parking for school. He needed food money. On an income that's as low as mine, its been hard to manage but doable... Until now.
So I'm all the way out here in Colorado and my kids are all the way in Georgia and where I am in Bennett, Colorado is nowhere near any possible jobs or public transportation. After a lot of issues here, we are moving closer to Denver and then maybe we can progress more to the point where not only am I healthy but we can help more financially with our children.
Multiple Sclerosis patients go through a lot, as do PTSD patients. Having both of those along with other psychological issues stemming from those is so hard to manage in a stressful environment. Unfortunately, living with others who don't understand that has been toxic to my recovery. Caring for someone with multiple sclerosis (MS) involves unique stresses and uncertainties. The disease is unpredictable. Caregivers may not know from one week to the next how MS will affect the patient. The patient may experience dramatic mood swings. They may also confront new physical challenges that could require changes to their environment. My main symptom has been severe anxiety. Most anxiety is not caused by medical problems. Anxiety is a mental health disease, and it's often created through a combination of life experiences, coping ability, and genetics. But in some cases anxiety can be caused by something physically wrong, and one example of such an issue is multiple sclerosis.
Multiple sclerosis, or MS, is a terrifying disease. While generally rare (1 in every 1,000 women, and 1 in every 3,000 men), the illness can cause a host of physical problems, and unfortunately anxiety is one of them. I go around others and smile and small talk then as soon as I can I escape back to safety in my room.
One of the best first steps as a caregiver is staying calm and assessing what you need to support your loved one. I needed more isolation away from others in our room so he did what was needed. (Sigh) But the things I have learned and experienced have been beneficial to my recovery as well.
During the time when things started looking south, a group of women that I befriended, began bonding with, and began gifting free counciling with online began to form sisterhood with me. They helped me get through some tough times and are still with me. Jesus (my husband Rafael) spends 24 hours a day with me since our co-partner left, but lately he's had a little break somewhat so he can get some of our business done because they have been keeping me company and calm. By allowing me to help them, I'm able to distract myself from my own stressors. Things had been getting bad. Raf's car accident (when he got hit twice back to back on purpose with the car that his ex friend "B" was driving) began making his body hurt when he did work around the Bennett house which made him not be able to do as much for the house as planned before, which was part of our agreement for staying here, so it became one of the problems at the house anyway. People acted like he was lazy, but really his body hurt and he doesn't have insurance and his main priority is me, and nobody else here cares about his health but me. We paid our rent, deposits, utilities, gas money, and labor to work off some of the tincture and phoenix tears oil for my treatment and gave it a try but clearly it wasn't working out. There's a lot more to it, but basically it began to come to a head because On 9/12/15 the other male tenant came and asked me if my husband could pull some weeds out back since they were having a cookout. It was Auset day (Saturday) so i told him we couldn't because we had made plans already. Well, bad news came on our phone from our family and I'd sent off a text message about a death in our family and I also had tremors and we couldn't make it to the cookout to our landlord but got no response, on 9/14/15 there was attitude towards Raf, and our landlord requested a private meeting with him which we declined because she seemed hostile and actually told me that what she had to say to him she didn't want me to hear because it wasn't nice.... and 9/15/15 we got requests for the landlord to speak with my husband privately again and when we refused to do solo talks with just him and her due to the need of a witness she said if she couldn't have a private talk with him then we needed to vacate in two weeks, on that same day 9/15/15 we received notice to vacate. Its a long story leading up to that but long story short, its time to move on.
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The last day here according to the email is 9/30/15. Funds are non existent at the moment as far as I can tell but we will find a way. Some nice sisters have pledged to help us out since this was unexpected, so I'm grateful but still a bit afraid until the funds actually arrive. So much to catch up on in future posts, I've been quiet out of fear of backlash but this is what's been going on with me. The IRS still won't release our funds and I am just so tired of identity theft. My debit card company had to re-issue my new card because someone got it before it got to me. All these financial issues with money we have that won't be released or is somehow blocked... Gotta be a blessing around the corner somewhere, I think. Thank GOD my oldest and his girlfriend are bringing new life into the world soon. I'm so happy to be a grandmother! So with the bad, there is still light.
I've got a headache but we did stock up on food earlier when we had access to transportation so for now we are eating too.
Had I still had the children with me, we would have made different decisions but since my health is the focus and the kids are safe and sound in Georgia, we can move around more freely...so as long as they are alright I know we can make it through. This is just a little hiccup on the road to recovery, and hiccups do go away. :)
The last day here according to the email is 9/30/15. Funds are non existent at the moment as far as I can tell but we will find a way. Some nice sisters have pledged to help us out since this was unexpected, so I'm greatful but still a bit afraid until the funds actually arrive. So much to catch up on in future posts, I've been quiet out of fear of backlash but this is what's been going on with me. The IRS still won't release our funds and I am just so tired of identity theft. My debit card company had to re-issue my new card because someone got it before it got to me. All these financial issues with money we have that won't be released or is somehow blocked... Gotta be a blessing around the corner somewhere, I think. Thank GOD my oldest and his girlfriend are bringing new life into the world soon. I'm so happy to be a grandmother! So with the bad, there is still light.
I've got a headache but we did stock up on food earlier when we had access to transportation so for now we are eating too.
Had I still had the children with me, we would have made different decisions but since my health is the focus and the kids are safe and sound in Georgia, we can move around more freely...so as long as they are alright I know we can make it through. This is just a little hiccup on the road to recovery, and hiccups do go away. :)
I have short term memory loss so when talks get too intense and I forget what we are talking about in the first place because all kinda other stuff is being mentioned that has nothing to do with the topic at hand, there is no need for me to continue. I say hey, I'm done. Because really at that point the issues seem clouded in emotion.
It's hard.
I've been doing more "proof" with the IRS for my taxes. They are stalling and stalling and now they want more "proof". It's aggravating. And it's something I can no longer do on my own. I'm going to need assistance and my husband doesn't prepare taxes either. We already paid someone to prepare them in the first place. But that person is in Atlanta so they can't help us. This is getting harder and harder and all I want is my refund so I can handle some business. The struggle doesn't end and I just thank GOD for Colorado and the cannibus treatment.
The IRS has me so frustrated. Seemingly its affecting us all and in times like these its important to know how to calm down from the high strung energy/stress. For me, intense pain has already kicked into my hands and feet again. MS is so unpredictable and I'm afraid of getting sick. So I pray. And I cope. And I medicate. And I step back and say " okay world, I guess u got it for now", and then for now I'm done. What else can I do?
