Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Sleep Disorders, Chronic Pain, and Cancer

I'm tired.   But I'm here.

SO, I'm trying my best to be get the word out more as an advocate for safe access of the plant CANNABIS.  One way is by telling anyone that can hear me to stop calling it a drug.  It's not a drug, it's a plant. An herb.  A natural part of the earth's vegetation.  Not a drug.

I do not like that my children hear in public schools that marijuana.  LIES.

Dr. Allen Zubkin, who is Board Certified in addiction medicine in Florida, says that there is SOUND science that prooves that there are recepters for CBD (cannabidiol) in the brain.  CBD is a component in Cannabis.  So why would we have CBD receptors in the brain if it's not for us?


For whatever reason, Cabbabis is not legal in all states in the United States of America.  And it's so sad because every day someone new has cancer...breast cancer, at that. The same cancer that began the demise of my dear mother's life.  I'm sorry, but that's screwed up.  I try to tell cancer patients and family members of cancer patients the benefits of cannabis, but most of them can only focus on the "high" effects of THC, another component in cannabis.  But there are over SIXTY different components in the cannabis plant, people just need to research.

Cannabis not only helps with Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Sleep Disorders, Chronic Pain, and Cancer.

For more information on what the health benefits of cannabis, please connect with me in the comments below.  Because cannabis has not yet been made legal by the Feds in America, cannabis cannot be shipped to anyone via mail systems, so if one isn't in a legal state, they have no access.  I moved all the way from Georgia to Colorado for safe access.  People think they can't afford to come to Colorado, but if you get flight tickets about 2 or 3 months in advance, you can get them as low as $50 one way or $100 round trip.  You don't need tons and tons of baggage, it's not about wardrobe. Nobody cares if you wear the same thing every day, it's not about that.

I don't want to see anyone else die of Cancer or suffer from the medical conditions listed in the chart wheel above.  I'm doing my best to make a difference.  Let me.  Help by spreading the word.

https://www.gofundme.com/write-4msawareness

Independence Day

I saw the fireworks.  I haven't seen fireworks in so long, never really getting out and definitely not feeling Independent.  I was amazed.  While most American's celebrate the 4th of July as being the United States of America, and no longer part of the British Empire, I spent my 4th of July becoming Independent of unsafe access.  I am now safe access accessible.


Where I'm from (Atlanta, Georgia), there are very strict laws against cannabis and everything else.  It's sad.  Hemp, which was once mandatory for people to grow had become illegal and most of the states in the USA and is highly illegal where I come from.  For having one ounce of marijuana in Georgia, you risk being charged and convicted of a Felony Crime.  For a patient who has Multiple Sclerosis among other diagnosis, safe access is a must because cannabis works.

The reason why everyone doesn't know how effective cannabis is medicinally is because there are not enough people willing to disclose information about a crime that they are committing.  If it weren't criminal, then people would feel more apt to tell their amazing healing stories. It's sad, really, to make not decriminalize something that works and claim that the reason is not enough evidence when you know that evidence leads to prosecution.   But for those of us who have  safe access to the variety of strands that work for them, the effectiveness is amazing and astonishing.

The fact remains that it's not harmful to your health.  In fact, it's helpful for your health.  One of the things I've noticed is that cannabis helps with psychological issues and personality disorders, which is a great issue in society at large.  It also helps patients that experience chronic nausea, lack of appetite, seizures, tremors, chronic pain, have cancer, and more.  So why is it so tabboo?  I think it's because people can actually be calm and able to heal themselves, and the government wants nothing to do with that.  Growing industrialized hemp could even change the air we breath into healthier air.  It helps with air quality like other plants and herbs do.  It's not "dope" in the sense that it's drugs.  Cannabis is a natural plant that grows from GOD's creation.  In Denver, where I am right now, even recreational cannabis is legal and people seem to be a lot happier. This is pretty neat, and non risky.

I feel as though I have finally experienced my independence just by being in a place that has more freedom.  I'm taking Multiple Sclerosis by the bullhorns and dragging it the way I want it to be, which is going in the direction of healing. We've touched base with a new friends along the way and are going to learn as much as we can about this old phenomena of the healing benefits of all organic diets, absolutely no gmo's, absolute peace, gardening and farming, non evasive or pill/syrup based medications, use of herbs and plants such as rosmary, sage, lemon balm, cannabis, ie organic healing treatments, and more of what GOD intended.  I honestly believe and know without a shadow of a doubt that if you just let go and let GOD, he will do it for you. I'm now in an area where I can do that and not be charged for it and treated badly. At least one level of my anxiety has begun to let up.

I met a miracle woman.  She's a kindred spirit and a familiar one.  Anyway...Spirit is moving rapidly and I'm putting my faith in my community to help me out with my #Write4MSAwareness Funding project.  My husband and I have been accepted into her organic living and healing house where MS patients are welcomed and cared for as well as cancer patients.  It costs to be in this house, and I need assistance, but not one person has donated to it.  That is depressing in itself, but yet I'm out here sharing my experience so that someone else, if not me, can be helped.  I will find a cure.  I may need help from time to time because I am a disabled WORLD citizen and this world isn't easy to go up against all alone.

I knew Atlanta, GA wasn't going to be a place of healing for me.  I knew that the only job prospects for my husband would be in Colorado, and right now I'm not getting any financial assistance for my daughter from her biological father who is also out of work. In Atlanta there is too much stress like the fact that my landlord, Bless Her, made me go in half on pest control instead of just paying for it and also wouldn't fix plumbing issues I reported in January 2015, making me have to walk further to wash dishes and risk (which I did) breaking dishes and getting cut or dropping items because it's too heavy or having to take extra trips to and from the kitchen to the nearest sink.  My house was killing me because the stress of it is too much.  It takes a whole team of people not to make me freak out at life, and they do so it's a very enviornment wherever we are as long as we are not under attack.  And that house was attacking us and eating us alive.  I've never been able to use the blow dryer or hot curls in my bathroom or....any bathroom, as the outlets don't even work but yet in still...we don't complain.  We have never been able to use the tub in the downstairs restroom and yet we don't complain.  And I had to leave stuff in the house because I'm on a fixed budget and moving takes time and money and it has to be done slowly but she wouldn't give us one day.  Everyone said this and that but we just left like she asked us to.  I have it in writing.  She goes weeks not calling us back to follow up on things and yet she can't wait a few weeks to hear from my family because i'm too stressed to deal with things and these are my things.  42 years in Atlanta and this lady won't let me get my things.  I've only been late on my rent three times in three years but hey, business is business and at the end of the day a disabled world citizen isn't worth a hill of beans to most.

So I left.
I didn't leave for good,
My teenagers are away for the summer with their fathers and my oldest stayed behind with his fiance who's expecting my first granddaughter.  We've got a girlfriend and her little princess who are in Atlanta, too.  Life is so fresh and crisp right now, and this is the time to have the right to have a healthier and happier way of life.  I pray this summer proves to be a new beginning.  I'm here in Colorado to establish ourselves and to begin healing from everything. Everyone comes to Colorado for different reasons but I'm here to work with this woman and to learn what she has to teach us, and to grow into something even more beautiful than before. I hope other's share this journey with us....and that they have their own true Independence Day ...some day.
#write4msawareness

I'm Considering going postal

Please don't be alarmed, but I'm considering going postal. Let me tell you why.

It all started (this time) on last Tuesday. Mika the driver picked us up to take us to my neuro. I didn't have an appointment only needed to pick up my prescriptions. Most of my prescriptions can be called but Norco and the new headache medicine are considered to be "controlled substances".

Mika The Driver then took us to Walgreens to fill the scripts. After a few moments the pharmacist said that they were not in stock of my prescriptions and to try CVS. I've been through this before at this location, so I went to a different Walgreens, only to be told the same thing.

I went back home because Mika had another fare, prescriptions in hand unfillable. I was sad and frustrated but I had a few pills left from the previous month.

On Friday I went to the Kroger near my husband's old job. They were able to fill the Norco, so I filled it there. I was frustrated that the others couldn't be filled, but 1 out of 4 was better than nothing. Then we went to a Publix and they said they couldn't fill the prescriptions and the pharmacist suggested that I ask my doctor to order me a lesser prescription of Zanex (1 mg instead of 2) with more pills per dose. Or to try CVS. That's stupid. Whatever, I leave.

Today is Saturday. We went grocery shopping at Kroger. The pharmacist there filled my Restoril and gave me a weeks worth of my Zanex and said I could pick up the remainder on Tuesday, which is fine by me. The suggested CVS for my new headache medicine Bupap Tussi Caps (Dexpac) . I thanked them and will go back Tuesday.

When I first got diagnosed with MS, I used CVS. I only switched to Walgreens because they are open 24/7. But what good is that if I can't even fill my meds there. For this doctors visit alone I've been to pharmacy's in Walgreens, Publix, and Kroger with plans of going to CVS whenever I can get another ride. Mika charges at least $15 or more per trip to take me on my errands. Being on a fixed income, extra running around costs me a lot. This is one of the unfortunate issues that I face as a disabled American. I pray for safe access so I don't have to run around so much for "controlled substances".

I feel paranoid about how they act when I bring in what they consider "controlled substances". I am considering my insurance's mail order program. I'm Considering going postal and just having them mail me my prescriptions because I'm tired of rejection or prejudice. I'm tired of the pharmacist tech asking me for my identification prior to telling me my meds aren't available. It's like a set-up. That makes me more paranoid; the unknown on what could possibly be on the computer screen in front of them. Sometimes it seems like they don't tell me my prescriptions aren't available until after they look at my ID. I feel like I'm on a " controlled substance" list. I have chronic pain, mood swings, insomnia, and massive head pain. And I have an incurable disease. I would like nothing more than to control the substances that I medicate with, but I can't unless I choose not to medicate with pharmsudicals and just suffer through my symptoms instead, which I mostly do. Georgia is where I was born and raised, but Georgia needs to be compassionate and allow patients to have safe access and to support homegrown. No patient should have to go to that many pharmacy's and still not have everything prescribed. Just venting. With a headache.

Name your poison and Sneak Peek of Video 2

Risperdal, Zanex, Norco, Temazepam, Mirtazapine, and Amitripyline. Name your poison, those are mine. Throw in a possibility of Gabapentin and Tudorza Pressair (fancy, right???) and we've pretty much darn near got the contents of my bag down to a T.

I take these poisoned prescribed pharmsudicals that are prescribed to me every day in order to feel some level of normal and to treat my symptoms that are caused by having my disabilities, not by preference. I still do not understand how something toxic is supposed to help, but I pray.

While cleaning out my medicine bag, I saw some meds that were expired.  At first thought, I was going to flush them but then I thought about the toxins in the pills going into the tap (tainted and polluted) water and making people and animals sickER.  So then I thought to crush them into powder and set them on fire, but then I thought a out air pollution with toxic gas.  I couldn't bury it because then I'd put toxins in the soil. I was about to go on a whirlwind in my mind but finally my husband looked up how to discard expired prescription meds and it said there is a service that comes by to pick them up    http://www.disposemymeds.org/  .  How do I know that they are not just recycling old pills back to patients and that's why they don't always work.  I don't know.  I'm paranoid about what goes into pills and such as opposed to what is naturally grown or provided by mother nature. Anything that's not natural is un-natural.   That's common sense even to someone like me with cognitive issues. 

As of right now I'm down to 5-7 pill prescriptions in my everyday carry bag, (1 of which I take daily if I have to be around other people) and 4 of which I take most days and nights ( 1 of which is to allow my mind to stop raving long enough to go to sleep).  With the physical part of the disability so eratic, the emotional and mental can take its toll on anyone, especially the MS patient like me.  There's no wonder why I'm seeing a chiropractor with all the medications I have in my bag...that bag is heavy and my spine is  curved all kind of ways.  I have scoliosis and also bone spurs.  Getting these things spine adjustments can help in making my MS better and give me almost 14 more years of life..and those visits will cost me upwards of  $2500 with insurance .  But they work!  https://youtu.be/3QzCKReW0Iw  I'm hoping to be able to get the treatments I need that are not involving pills.  I've got to raise some money so that the little treatments I can do without pharmaceuticals.  That's all I want; to live a life without pharmaceuticals and pain and everything else 

I long for a place where there is safe access to what GOD intended for us, natural herbs and plants galore.  And though I'm not there yet, I also give thanks that I'm able to homeschool my princess
Please donate to my Write 4 MS Awareness Fundraiser in the donate tab :)