Saturday, April 25, 2015

What Does It Look Like

I hear a lot of MS patients saying that they are tired of hearing such phrases as “but you don’t look sick” or “just take a nap and you will feel better”?  I'm tired of it, too.  I am sick and taking a nap may or not make me feel better, but I will still have MS either way.  Even if I do take a nap, I'm going to wake up and be tired all over again.  It can be hard to find people to talk to that truly know how I am feeling and when they say “I get it”, to know that really do. 
But I am not alone. There are thousands of others who are feeling, struggling, warring with all the same things I am going through.  I'm just weirded out by this "invisible" disease.
I say "invisible" because for the life of me, I can't find an accurate picture of what MS looks like (aside from the MRI readings).  What does "I'm tired and do not feel like moving and have no motivation to even go downstairs" look like?  If it looks like lazy, then you're looking at it wrong because in my mind, I'm accomplishing all kinds of things. 
I've seen on a MS blog "Having an invisible chronic illness  can leave you feeling adrift in a turbulent sea of confusing emotions. Anger, sadness, fear, anxiety and hopelessness can all vie for a front row seat in your daily struggle to live a happy, productive life.".  I agree.  But at least writing about it begins to shed some light into my world.
I honestly think stress is what is causing me to not be able to fully snap back into "life" as I normally would. I have spurts of energy when I will walk from room to room in the house and be a part of things (I cooked grits and fist today), but hours later I will just want to relax.  It's good that my family is always nearby.  
In researching, I've found that exercise is helpful.  I used to walk a lot and have not been doing so.  It's good to have a walking buddy to ensure that you are safe and do not fall, if you are having symptoms.  Also, diet can make you feel better; vegetables, fruits, water, fish, nuts, etc.  

I'll need massage therapy.  With exercise, there is more pain.  But I know GOD willing, help will come soon.

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