Sunday, April 26, 2015

Typing with one hand and being super mommy

My left side is getting worst with my motor skills.  At this point it hurts to type with it.  I definitely need speech software but i'm afraid that if my speech slurs I won't be recognizable. These are today's stressors....well, some of them.

  I need people to know how to work with me.  From what I gather, it's best to let me talk and then for the person to do.  <sigh>...easier said than done. Its the "doing" that is becoming more and more challenging. The "doing" takes strength and eill power that I dont always have.

Having an invisible disease means you get invisible assistance, lol.  Meaning nobody is going to do for you what they believe you can do for yourself. It's hard to hear "You're just making it up in your head".  It would be different if I had a hired assistant that would just do these things for me because they were paid to do it. But sadly i'm one of the low income individuals that cannot affored hired help. And that's why I get sad.

I have had no sleep, really.  My body feels drained.  Nobody monitors my rest so I am trying to do so.  If I had a paid assistant they could monitor how much ( or how little ) I rest, especially sonce I have insomnia. My son takes meds every 4 hours and I'm the one to administer it to him.  He had surgery (a tonsillectomy) The other day, and so you can imagine his pain.  And because it's pain meds, I'm careful to be the only one giving it to him.  I'm his mother.  This is what mother's do.  My husband and girlfriend open the top of the child-proof bottles for me, but I do the rest.  That's a lot for me. And my son reminds me when I forget, especially when he's hurting again, so we are working together. I didn't realize how much pressure this is for me. My son helps me take care of him because thats how my children have always been since MS came into our lives, but with a little funding I could get someone to help me take care of me, too.

Despite the motor skills challenges, I carry on. I'm typing this with my right hand only when typing with the left hurts too much. I think once my stress goes, my motor skills will return.

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