Thursday, August 21, 2014

No sorry

A good read from a fellow ms'er
Never Apologize
By Nicole Lemelle—May 12, 2014
I’m Dying!
Or at least that’s what I feel like.
MS tends to put me in a fragile wavering psychotic state.
Between the optic neuritisnumbnessfatigue, dropping things, tripping and falling I think I may be losing my mind.
My dream for normal used to be so strong but now it is slowly withering away. Each passing day brings me less confidence that I can get my former life back. I always keep a little hope alive but that may be because I can’t face the reality that I will never get back to normal again.
CLick here to read the rest......
http://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/never-apologize/?utm_source=weekly&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=140521&uuid=fcfb73789a92d48b3ab2dfdcb59c8c24

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Thursday, July 10, 2014

Medical Alert

Yesterday had to be one of the most frustrating days I've had in a long while.  I went to a NEW shrink...and once again I got upset. Asking me dates and details that I clearly can't remember is frustrating. Then trying to change my meds that work and not giving me what I need....it was a bust trip.


 

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Monday, June 23, 2014

The Pressing Seas


Depression is very common in people withmultiple sclerosis (MS). In fact, symptoms of depression severe enough to require medical intervention affect up to half of all people with MS at some point during their illness.
 Honestly I've been suffering from depression all of my life but it did intensify after I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2004 and here to recently in the last year or so.
Why Do People With Multiple Sclerosis Also Have Depression?
Depression may be the result of a difficult situation or stress. It is easy to understand how having MS, with its potential for progressing to permanent disability, can bring on depression.
Depression may be caused by MS. MS may destroy the insulating myelin that surrounds nerves that transmit signals affecting mood.
Depression is also a side effect of some drugs used to treat MS, such as steroids or interferon.
once I began to recognize sentence in my life everything seems to start collapsing right before my eyes. I think it affects my relationships and they suffer because at some point I just don't have the will to even deal with anyone or anything I get so sad I don't even want to go on....thankfully not about life it's just about the situations I'm in I know that they're depressing me I'm not at the harmony I know that man making my health fail and I don't even know if its worth it anymore. the main thing that the presses me lately is things concerning the children and the stressful Situation with my girlfriend's family and ex friends. 
What Are the Symptoms of Depression?
Everyone at one time or another has felt depressed, sad, or blue. Sometimes the feeling of sadness becomes intense, lasting for long periods of time and preventing a person from leading a normal life. This is depression, a mental illness that, if left untreated, can worsen, lasting for years and causing untold suffering, and possibly even resulting in suicide. It is important to recognize the signs of depression, which include:
Sadness
Loss of energy
Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
Loss of enjoyment from things that were once pleasurable
Difficulty concentrating
Uncontrollable crying
Difficulty making decisions
Irritability
Increased need for sleep
Inability to fall or stay asleep at night (insomnia)
Unexplained aches and pains
Stomachache and digestive problems
Decreased sex drive
Sexual problems
Headache
A change in appetite causing weight loss or gain
Thoughts of death or suicide
Attempting suicide
When to Seek Help for Depression With Multiple Sclerosis
If you have depression along with multiple sclerosis, you should seek help if:
Depression is negatively affecting your life -- causing difficulties with relationships, work issues, or family disputes -- and there isn't a clear solution to these problems.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts or feelings.

Where Should I Go to Get Help for Depression?
Once you decide to seek medical help, start with your primary doctor. He or she can evaluate you to make sure that medicines or another illness are not causing your symptoms.
Your doctor may prescribe treatment or refer you to a mental health care professional who can perform a thorough assessment so that an effective course of treatment can be recommended.
How Is Depression Treated With Multiple Sclerosis?
If you have multiple sclerosis, the first step in treating depression is recognizing that you are depressed. The second step is seeking help. These two steps may in fact be the hardest part of the entire treatment process. Once you seek help from a qualified health care provider, you will find that there are numerous treatment options to help you get back on track.
Several antidepressant drugs are available, but they must be used only under the supervision of a medical professional. Antidepressant drugs are most effective in treating depression in people with MS when used in conjunction with psychotherapy. Called "therapy" for short, the word psychotherapy actually involves a variety of treatment techniques. During psychotherapy, a person with depression talks to a licensed and trained mental health care professional who helps him or her identify and work through the factors that may be triggering the depression.

Warning Signs of Suicide
If you or someone you know is demonstrating any of the following warning signs, contact a mental health professional right away or go to the emergency room for immediate treatment.
Talking about suicide (killing one's self)
Always talking or thinking about death
Making comments about being hopeless, helpless, or worthless
Saying things like "It would be better if I weren't here" or "I want out"
Depression (deep sadness, loss of interest, trouble sleeping and eating) that gets worse
A sudden switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy
Having a "death wish," tempting fate by taking risks that could lead to death, like driving through red lights
Losing interest in things one used to care about
Visiting or calling people one cares about
Putting affairs in order, tying up lose ends, changing a will.

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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Pain, Pain, Go Away

I'm hopeful about the new recently passed law in Georgia as it relates to our fight to legalize medical marijuana for MS patients worldwide, really. With my cognitive issues, I can't fully grasp what is going on, but I do know that the struggle is not over, yet.

It's enough to give you a headache.  Speaking of headaches, I'm so tired of having at least one every single day of my life.

The headaches hurt the most.  They make my eyes go blurry, even...and sometimes blind.  My husband gave me his laptop, which has a touch screen with zoom capability (yay), so it's at least easier to see if my vision is present.  My body pain is beyond imaginable, and I can't seem to NOT be snappy with people; but I'm trying to soften my demeanor.  With the amount of pain I'm in, my ability to deal with mediocrity, insufficient action, or anything else annoying is not very good.  But I thank GOD for my walk with Jesus Christ, and so I pray my way through this.

PAIN, PAIN, GO AWAY
DON'T COME AGAIN ANOTHER DAY



Sometimes I have to just make light of the pain that MS has caused me, but honestly it's not funny.  To wake up day to day in agony has been a hard pill to swallow.  At this very moment, my pointer finger on my left hand has a very sharp shooting pain in it, while my lower back is having spasms in it that hurt.  Also my elbow and shoulder blades hurt.  There's more, but I really don't want to continue to expand on all that's going on with me in the pain department, because there can be nothing done about it short of an one hour full body massage, which doesn't come easy nowadays.  Today, for instance, I've only been able to sit up no more than ten minutes without having to lay back down.  I'm working from the comfort of my bed today.  Everyone is around me, but nobody really COMPLETELY understands the extent of my pain.  My Chronic Pain. How could they understand that?  The MS Hugs alone are enough to drive anyone madd.

I have a supportive family, though.  Despite his own pain, my longtime caregiver/husband gave me a deep tissue massage tonight.  I feel so much relief.  If I could get that once a day for an hour, I'd be so thankful.  We're putting that on my list of must-haves.

I pray for all MS patients, and hopefully our pain will one day go away, especially if a cure is ever found.  Until then, peace, love, and light!  http://www.gofundme.com/write-4msawareness


Sunday, January 26, 2014

My MS Fatigue ft Laura Kolaczkowski 's story

I was reading a blog post "Fatigue or Ordinary Exhaustion?" Posted by Laura Kolaczkowski—January 18th, 2014  And I found myself completely relating to the blogger.  Fortunately, I get enough rest because MS FATIGUE is quite exhausting.  As my life has turned to a new twist (realizing my dream), I must admit that I have slowed down.  This time last year, I was a burst of energy.  
  I wonder what I can do to "snap out of it".  My medication doesn't really help, as it is designed to slow me down anyway.  Staying calm seems to keep away serious relapses and most of the symptoms, and having a great support team allows me to fully function ( I do not have to drive, I do not have to do most things on my own, #marriedlife gives me full time help with the children, etc); however...MS Fatigue really is a drag.  My clients can appreciate the fact that they will not only be working with me, but with a team of professionals from my network that pitch in and assist for very low rates and sometimes even pro-bono!  I have MS, but MS does not have me.  


  When I have MS Fatigue, my family allows me to take a break and just rest/sleep.  Laura Kolaczkowski explained it best when she wrote     "Imagine you are in a deep sleep on your couch and you hear the smoke detector ringing in your house.  You stir a bit and then recognize what the offensive, blaring sound is coming from – oh no, you think, your house may be on fire and you should probably move, but you debate with yourself if you can muster the energy and you slip back off to sleep. That is fatigue – when you want to go, you know you need to go, and yet you can’t."  That's how I feel;I try to move during those MS FATIGUE moments, but just can't. It's a crazy feeling, best experienced during an impromptu nap, in my opinion.  And all other times, I go full speed, because that's mainly what I'm known to do.  Of course, if a smoke detector did go off, I would be up and out of the place...i'll crawl if I have to.  

 Read Laura's blog here 
 http://multiplesclerosis.net/living-with-ms/fatigue-or-ordinary-exhaustion/?utm_source=weekly&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=140122&uuid=6e7747038173f66d1a5c4105b27db477 

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Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Recipe: Avocado and Onion Egg White Omelet



Original Recipe Yield One Omelet
Ingredients:
  • 3 large egg whites
  • 1/2 avocado
  • 1/2 medium white onion, sliced or diced
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • Sea salt and pepper to taste
Directions:
  1. Put 2 tablespoons olive oil and onions into pan or skillet over medium heat. Cook onions for a few minutes.
  2. Pour egg whites into skillet and continue cooking until egg is fully cooked.
  3. Add avocado to half of egg. Flip the other half of the egg over the top to make the omelet.
  4. Remove from heat and enjoy!
For a spicy omelet, add 1/2 fresh jalapeno or 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes.
Photo Credit: elisson1.blogspot.com


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Monday, December 2, 2013

It takes a Village


 Last night, after speaking with my husband about my daughter, I had a chance to talk to my daughter's father face to face.   We discussed her progress in school, and in general.  Despite my fears and insecurities, we are all on the same page in wanting her to be happy and successful in school I called my aunt Jackie today to tell her about the issue with my daughter and my MS today to get final assurance that I'm making the right decision towards my daughter.  
 Last night, after I wrote in my blog about my fears.  But those are just fears.  Fear is the enemy.  EVERYONE wants what's best for my daughter, so it may be a good decision to allow her to live with her biological father for a while.  He'll never take custody from me because I'm a good mom..  I have MS.  It gives me limitations sometimes and perhaps a little break will help me (and her) in the long run.  We've decided on NOT making two homes for our daughter (there and here).  With two homes, she could live with both of us but will lack stability. Since she needs a little more assistance with her school work, he is just really too busy with his own life to be able to truly is and he is not sensitive towards her disability which is ADHD.   
   so we decided just to bring in additional family in house to assist. With this new door that has opened up, I think it's the closing of the door of me having no control over a lot of things in my life.  It's been a long journey, and I'd especially like to see how much I can begin to save and invest into the future. Being disabled, I always worry about my limited resources.  I used to think that if I could let others take care of things for me, I could relax and not have to worry about them.  But I'm finding that the more I give control away, the more I lose.  I don't want to lose anything else.  I don't want to lose anymore. 
  With this new change in my life, which should begin later this month of December 2013, I am thinking about all of the other things in my life that will change and that can change.  Certainly, I will have time to reflect and perhaps write more.  I really want to write a few children books, etc.  I also have a lot of ideas about what to do with ON THE RISE MAG, an ongoing community service  (you may as well say) that I provide.  On a personal note, I am starting a new money saving / money gaining goal.  I've done this before and I want to do it again, just to see how much I can earn/save.  I'd like to do more things and to have more things and to provide more things, so this is the way to go.  There is so much more I want to do, as well.  It's not that being a mommy has held me back...but just the opposite.  Being a wife and mother is motivating me to do more, and that starts with making sure I'm healthy, happy, and at peace.
  I've got roughly three weeks before my life takes on a this new change.  I hope to spend as much time with my daughter as possible. She and I are so cute...we cry a lot because when we thought she was going to have to leave really didn't know how to cope with that because we've never been apart before. It's only would have been for a semester, but it seems like a lifetime, lol.  But, she's a daddy's girl just like I was...so if he can learn to appreciate that more and maybe he'll be able to appreciate the fact that I know what she needs and I only want the best for her and the best for her Is to remain with me :) 

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