Last night, after speaking with my husband about my daughter, I had a chance to talk to my daughter's father face to face. We discussed her progress in school, and in general. Despite my fears and insecurities, we are all on the same page in wanting her to be happy and successful in school I called my aunt Jackie today to tell her about the issue with my daughter and my MS today to get final assurance that I'm making the right decision towards my daughter.
Last night, after I wrote in my blog about my fears. But those are just fears. Fear is the enemy. EVERYONE wants what's best for my daughter, so it may be a good decision to allow her to live with her biological father for a while. He'll never take custody from me because I'm a good mom.. I have MS. It gives me limitations sometimes and perhaps a little break will help me (and her) in the long run. We've decided on NOT making two homes for our daughter (there and here). With two homes, she could live with both of us but will lack stability. Since she needs a little more assistance with her school work, he is just really too busy with his own life to be able to truly is and he is not sensitive towards her disability which is ADHD.
so we decided just to bring in additional family in house to assist. With this new door that has opened up, I think it's the closing of the door of me having no control over a lot of things in my life. It's been a long journey, and I'd especially like to see how much I can begin to save and invest into the future. Being disabled, I always worry about my limited resources. I used to think that if I could let others take care of things for me, I could relax and not have to worry about them. But I'm finding that the more I give control away, the more I lose. I don't want to lose anything else. I don't want to lose anymore.
With this new change in my life, which should begin later this month of December 2013, I am thinking about all of the other things in my life that will change and that can change. Certainly, I will have time to reflect and perhaps write more. I really want to write a few children books, etc. I also have a lot of ideas about what to do with ON THE RISE MAG, an ongoing community service (you may as well say) that I provide. On a personal note, I am starting a new money saving / money gaining goal. I've done this before and I want to do it again, just to see how much I can earn/save. I'd like to do more things and to have more things and to provide more things, so this is the way to go. There is so much more I want to do, as well. It's not that being a mommy has held me back...but just the opposite. Being a wife and mother is motivating me to do more, and that starts with making sure I'm healthy, happy, and at peace.
I've got roughly three weeks before my life takes on a this new change. I hope to spend as much time with my daughter as possible. She and I are so cute...we cry a lot because when we thought she was going to have to leave really didn't know how to cope with that because we've never been apart before. It's only would have been for a semester, but it seems like a lifetime, lol. But, she's a daddy's girl just like I was...so if he can learn to appreciate that more and maybe he'll be able to appreciate the fact that I know what she needs and I only want the best for her and the best for her Is to remain with me :)
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