I received a notice from social security telling me that basically I can work no more than 80 hours per month and can only earn under a thousand dollars a month. Trial Work Period is what it's called.
The problem with Trial Work Period is that Multiple Sclerosis is unpredictable at best. I cannot rely on my brain and body to do what it's supposed to do when it's supposed to do it or even begin to assume how any given day will be. I encountered many problems when I worked outside of the home with my health being unstable. Employers do not take kindly to a lot of call outs or having to leave early. Even if it's for doctors appointments, the attendance policy that jobs have will not allow me to keep substantial or gainful employment. Even when thinking about working 20 hours, you have to take into account that I'll need frequent breaks, and my brain and body may not be up to par. I've found that my social issues make it nearly impossible to keep a steady job. Even in self employment, since my fatigue and cognitive issues are present, it'll be a definite losing situation to be at a job outside of home. The symptoms I experience with MS make it hard to even work at home. I can't concentrate enough to get tasks completed, which is why I have assistants to lend me assistance.
Meanwhile, bills are still due. If I can't work then I can't eat, right? Thankfully, I'm married and I've learned how to work with my disease. We have to budget really well to stay afloat. I know it takes more hands than just mine to get things done. My husband stays home with me to ensure I'm well, physically and mentally. I've come to trust him with my life, which was always hard for me to do. I pray for him and continuously hope that he doesn't give up on me. There are so many MS patients that don't have the support that I have. Even when social security is confusing me (so many notices and in reading them, I can't fully understand what they mean), he's there to keep me calm and tell me not to worry. And that helps.
I can't help but to worry sometimes. I'm a disabled American who doesn't have anything any more. I've had to start over, and that has not been easy at all. With so much of my memory gone, I'm so thankful for those who remember and know me so that they can fill in missing pieces of my life. I'm honored when people think highly of me. I've always tried to be fair. I'm all over the place with my thoughts right now are everywhere because that's how my brain works. And again, with my brain being all over the place, I can't work outside of the home or even in the home on something as steady as a job. I can do projects, and I can manage them to an extent. I thank GOD for my imagination because it's gotten me far in life. It gets me as far as I'm willing to let it take me.
My message to anyone living with MS is to fight and learn and share the information. Bills are there and they are due, so I advise anyone with MS to find deep in themselves creative skills that they may be able to be hired for, and to never give up on their dreams.
#randomthought And honestly, we all need to pray for water; that we will stop being charged for things that GOD provided for free.
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