Thursday, October 10, 2013


When the World says give up
try it one more time.

I put up with a lot of stuff.  Sometimes life can seem so hard.  I remember telling myself sometimes, "It'll be okay once I lay down in my grave; it won't hurt so bad then".  Then I have to remind myself that I've gone through my savings and I need to rebuild my wealth so that my family, at least, can put me to rest properly.  And so I remain.

There are a lot of times when I just want to walk away from it all. My life before MS was free and full and fun.  It was filled with endless opportunities and endless thrills.  But there has to be a reason behind this madness called MS.  I know that there is some way of getting rid of it, and I hope I do before I die because I do want a better quality of life again.  I want to feel whole again. I want to do things and not be afraid. I want my life back.

Hope whispers to me.  It makes me have faith in there here and now, and the future.  Hope makes me feel like things will get better.  So many families out there are suffering, but they pull through and stick together.  I do thank GOD for the fact that my family is still in tact.  Whenever I feel like just giving up, I think about all I gave up in the first place just to be here with them, and then I get over whatever feelings I was going through that would ever make me think an "exit" will make things right.  I'm not perfect, but I do have heart.  and as long as it's beating, I'll do my all in everything.  HOPE whispers "one more time", and so I pull up a chair and stay awhile.

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