Friday, June 24, 2016


So I am finally out of the PTSD episode or series of episodes that I was going through last week and I feel a lot better however I'm having a lot of chronic pain right now that is not making me feel better at all.   I have been getting exercise I want at least 8 blocks a day, I say that because the park that I go to is 2 blocks to and then two blocks from and then I do that again later in the day another two blocks to and 2  blocks from so I'm getting exercise for sure.   I don't feel like I'm overdoing it but even walking feels like I'm overdoing it.   I did a few stretches but not anything serious because I'm in pain and I get that exercising will probably help the pain but from what I'm experiencing it is definitely not helping the pain.

I'm on a muscle relaxer called after baclofen and it's 10 milligrams tablets. But those are prescribed for twice a day and because of my paranoia against Pharmaceuticals of pharmaceuticals, I only take it once a day on the days i'm brave enough to take it which is probably why I'm hurting.   I really don't know how to get past the paranoia in order to get treatment.   I am going to get some food assistance since primarily how I treat my conditions are with diet and herbs.  Because I'm still considered low-income with all of the expenses I'm not eating as healthy as I need to.   Eating unhealthy is probably causing me to not have enough nutrition.   Not having enough nutrition means that my body isn't getting what it needs.   Hopefully my case manager will be able to assist me with this tomorrow.   I'm going to make a list of all of my concerns and divide that list out to different people that handle those particular situations and my health case.  

On June 29th I have two doctors appointments the first one  is my psychologist,   and the second one is my primary care physician's office.   Physician's office because I really don't even know who my doctor is. I've only seen them once or twice.   the purpose of a primary care physician visit is to get a referral that to neurology.   There is nobody monitoring my Ms or managing it except for me.

Another thing that's causing me pain is my depression.   my daughter's family is not returning my calls like I need them to and that was the agreement.   so now I'm worried all of the time.   speak with my daughter but I need to speak with an adult that's caring for her so that I can follow up,   and I just feel like they're lines are too busy to communicate with me.   that's not going to work with me.   I've had my children all of their lives for this is the first time I've ever been away and I really expect everyone to make this as comfortable as it is as it can be for everyone.  If I have to go through it as I rather just have my daughter with me.  There's just so much I don't understand.   I'm still so upset that she didn't even make it back to me on the day that she was supposed to because she didn't get to her proper tutoring during school year and had to take a summer course,  which meant that she couldn't come to see me on our agreed date. Now her family has decided to go on a cruise which I'm happy that she can go because I can't afford a cruise but I send money every month and I can't do anything and they are really doing a lot of stuff except for calling me.   We're definitely going to have to have a meeting but first I'm going to get my daughter because I can't take any more anxiety about this situation and I never would have agreed to it had I known that I would have uncomfortable moments like this so many miles away from the ones I love.

I made a video to basically document my pain because with my memory the way it is more than likely I will forget and not have an opportunity to get help from the doctor.
One of my good friends told me the other day that I was being Manic and then I realized that I was being manic and so I'm going to have to address that with the doctors as well.   Love and light peace and blessings and  Please support MS and PTSD awareness.  PS, that’s my husband in the background playing PS4.

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