Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Letting Go Of Triggers Begins On The Inside

Just took a blood pressure pill; first one i've ever had in my entire life. PTSD is a horrible thing. I'm glad it's getting treated properly. Today was stressful trying to communicate with family in Atlanta, so I decided to go get the meds from the pharmacy that i've been avoiding because nothing is worth a stroke. I have to be treated apparently for my temperament because I have the inability to "turn down" on a situation and it could end up stroking me out. Anywhoo.... Anyone that knows me knows I hate pills so of course I poured half of it out before i took it. I admit it. Anyway Pills can be the cause all kinda DEATH of organs and of life and definitely quality of life (sometimes), so i'm really cautious. And yes lots of people take meds but I'm one that does not want to take meds; I just wanna live in peace and continue to heal, ya know. I thank GOD for my husband, my children, my grandchild, my dog, my granddog and his new family (hey P & E).

On a more personal note, my 4 year wedding anniversary allowed me to let bygones be bygones when it comes to past relationships and situations. As I said, I have serious issues and I am admitting that PTSD is no joke, and I will surely get to a point where I raise more awareness about it, too, for sure because think about it...soldiers come back with this so you can imagine the type of wars civilians like myself have gone through to get to this point. And yet I rise up every day the lord gives me a notion to and I live; maybe not on the standards most of society but in a way where I see my husband everyday, I have a loving and friendly (when not under fire) relationship with my children who are close and my inner circle and the world via On The Rise Magazine and On The Rise Radio. I have a voice. So with anything in my rear view, I'm wishing them well from the other side and I'm keeping it moving. Never fight and push for anything that compromises your health and your sanity, welcome deliverance, and live and love only in the light. That goes for everyone.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Doing The Right Thing By Our Children

I spoke with my princesses birth dad and step mom today. MS has really taken a toll on who I am in terms of who I used to be. I've raised several children and have a college freshman and my oldest about to have my first grandchild...but my princess has had it rough...we've lived with MS since she was two. She was diagnosed with ADHD long ago and that made it harder because she's not as independent as her brothers were. So I allowed her to go to school from her dad's house out of state instead of being held back by me and multiple sclerosis any longer.

I miss her. I miss her smile and her laughter and even her crankyness. MS has robbed me of so much but I will not continue to allow it to rob my children anymore. Visits on breaks will be nice because it won't be as intense as during school time. I feel like I was absolutely no help when it came to her schooling and my support team for a special needs child isn't what I would want it to be...I can't do math anymore of even complete projects or even feel like doing them. Money is tight, too.  I'm tired. Been doing this MS monster waltz since 2004 and I'm so tired. Quiet as its kept, my kids are tires of it too.

Princess's step mom is a dream come true. Her aunt has MS aonshe knows my struggle. I was afraid that Princess's father would take her from me because I had MS, but he finally convinced me that he won't. I can send her there but it would kill me if they took her from me. But her dad and step mom have ensures she's safe and I'm safe so now I can sleep at night.

Her step mom told me to just take care of myself. I'm in Colorado now treating the MS in my body all organically with organic diet (non gmo), cannibus and other herbs, essential oils and most of my journey is on my blog here . Hopefully when my money is right i can go visit my little one.  I'm sorry she's doing so poorly in school but they will catch her back up.

I feel like I'm winning. My husband is my twin Flame and caretaker and he isn't letting anything happen to me on his watch. I'm so happy that me and my baby have the support that we need, even in these most unlikely places. <3