Down Two

Well...I'm down to 114lbs.  Yes, that's a lot of weight loss in two months.  HOWEVER, I can eat with "meal prep", so my caregiver is with me full time in order for me to eat.  And I'm eating. I'm cute and all but 114lb is not the move, not when two months ago I was 130lbs.  I have no "desire" to eat but I'm hoping that with no stress and assistance in eating, the weight will pick back up.  I still have tingling in my legs and feet and hands and arms nearly everyday and that has not changed, my fatigue is great, but I'm not having as many MS symptoms as I've had in the past...symptoms that I believe came from being triggered from all of the medications that MS patients take. And I'm so upset because when I went to the MS clinic, they were not willing to talk to me about organic options to treat MS.  It was basically "You can take one of two medications to stop the progression of MS, but MS cannot be cured".  I'm so annoyed at this point.




So now I'm on an eating plan.  My caregiver is here and my case manager brought me some raw foods so i'm going to work on my book and try to force myself to eat.  LOL Funny story, which I may do a story time about ( I don't know ) is that the other night my caregiver gave me some food to eat while I was really sleepy (my fatigue and the meds that I am on make me sleepy a lot anyway) and I was eating it while sleeping.  Too funny. See, I'm still trying to smile through all of this.

What I do realize about MS is that as a neurological disease, and that controls every aspect of your life.  Including your appetite. I never really feel hungry.  Ever. Initially I thought it was an aspect of my depression which is common with depression, but this is more than that.  I can go days without eating and I know that If I'm not monitored, I won't be bothered with eating.  When I went to visit my children last Sunday, my son actually fixed my plate for me and that's what made me eat it.  It was delicious (my grandson's mom is a wonderful cook and I promised her I would eat the meal she was preparing).

For some reason, I feel like even moving around decreases calories, and so because I walk two to three times a day, and not eating well, it's not looking good.  I know that once I'm full, I'm pretty much full for a long time and my bowels are not really consistent and I'm constipated a lot...so I know my system is a bit slower than others.  I've been noticing that.  Like even when I was on the all liquid smoothie raw diet, I still wasn't only defecating out liquid like one would think.  I was still having constipation, probably from weeks ago.  It's so weird.  Oh yeah, sometimes my appetite will kick in and I'll be super hungry, but then it floats away again for weeks on end. It's not healthy.

There are MS patients who go through this who are on medications for MS and also there are MS patients who go through this who are NOT on medications for MS.  There is no cure for MS so taking the MS Medications won't solve this issue, we can only treat our symptoms.  And because anything organic is basically on my own dime.  smh I'm going to look into getting some Zinc, etc, and continue to live in my zen environment.  My psychiatrist is working on getting me a medication that may trigger my appetite, as well.

As always, I'm keeping GOD first in my life and i'm thankful for the food that I do have available and I pray I'll eat it, even if it depends on someone else making sure I'm being fed.  I'm eating to live.

Multiple Sclerosis Phoenix Healing Center Retreat Program

UPDATE:  THIS WAS A SCAM COME TO FIND OUT :(

After finding out the wonders of cannabis, I wanted to share generously with anyone suffering with MS whose still able-bodied.  I made a post today about the what we've been making plans and ideas about...a Multiple Sclerosis Healing House 'Phoenix" Center. 

"I'm looking for a single female MS patient 21 or older (no couples, no children) who is interested in living in a MS Healing house as a roommate. This retreat is peaceful and we don't want to be distracted by any relationship drama, which is why I say single. Sometimes you are in a position where you can take a break from everyday life, just pay the bare minimum, and live among the pure. That's where we are.

Your retreat includes a Private room and shared bath. All residents are MS patients on disability and are each others emotional support (currently there are two MS patient residents). Its a real Zen enviornment. We are on the way to heal ourselves naturally with organic diets and natural plants and herbs that we can grow ourselves including cannabis as well as exercise, therapy, and more. With new reported discoveries being revealed all the time, we know that cannabis is reversing health issues and making gelreat strides in possible cures.

Arts & Crafts, cooking lessons, long scenic drives, sewing, pottery, dance, fitness, yoga...the relaxation of being in your own environment is second to none. This is a time to make your dreams come true when it comes to your health regimine.  We invite others to our home away from home in search of a cure. As we treat ourselves to edibles that relax our anxiety, pain, and more and group therapy to end the madness, delightful walks, outdoor photography, massage therapy, movie night and more the experience of getting better will keep you coming back for ... even more.

It's for the patient that wants better for themselves. It's for the patient that feels like no matter what they say, there has to be a better way (a natural way). This roommate obviously would need to be in or be willing to relocate to Colorado for this to be a reality.

The room is available on a month to month basis based off of each patients individual needs, and each patient has individual goals that they are supported in meeting. Its a place where the MS patient doesn't feel alone.

This is not a nursing home, just a healing home. It's a home where we can support one another and slowly change our MS around by eating right, living stress free, exploring the healing miracles of cannabis, and grow our own nourishment.

I have been now 18 days on our program and I'm already experiencing benefits, AND I'm not taking meds (but I have them on standby). Though not everyone is able to completely eliminate pills, the "treatment" does help you slowly eliminate them and replace with natural remidies. It's for people that want to get better, not those who have given up and unfortunately not for people that can't do anything for themselves. For those that don't qualify, we offer off site options.

The scenery is beautiful and fantastic. If you look afar, you'll see gorgeous mountains. There are beautiful fields and plains. The air is crisp and clear. The weather is nice summer warmth. I've seen the most beautiful sunsets here. Tranquil. It's quiet here, and very therapeutic. We will be gardening, growing fresh fruits and vegetables. We also foster kittens, dogs, and birds. Pet therapy is great for MS patients, and so is giving back.

NOW TAKING APPLICATIONS for an immediate move in date. 

We have a space with ONE 12' x 13' furnished bedroom, (with a queen sized bed), available for someone needing to come to or who is already in Colorado for access to our Medical Marijuana program. ONLY a legitimate patient will be considered. I need someone who is NOT totally disabled, has a vehicle, an adequate source of income to cover all their expenses and who wants to participate in the functioning of this house.

We have a very unique situation for the right person. We have established a healing household and are seeking someone who will fit into our small community. You must be at a point where you WANT to heal yourself. Staying stuck for sympathy will not work here.

If you know what it means to be awake, are on your own spiritual journey, want to be part of a group of people who are taking care of most of our medical needs in this alternative way, you might be the perfect one to join us. We are three patients with serious medical conditions who are working together for the benefit of the entire household. Our goal is to be as self sufficient and sustaining as possible. We have an organic, non-GMO, non-addictive behaviors including alcohol, mindset with everything we are doing.

The house is 30 minutes from the Denver airport in Bennett, Colorado, 20 minutes from the eastern most edge of Aurora, Colorado.

Passing a background check is required, ($40 fee mandatory), and an in person interview so we both may meet the new prospect. When approved, one month's security deposit and one month's rent are required before moving in. This rental will be on a month-to-month basis for a while to determine compatibility after joining the household. You will need a vehicle, be capable and willing to participate in the activities of running the house with the rest of us.

Share kitchen, living room, family room, bath, wi-fi, satellite, on street parking, other facilities...
Sorry, no pets as I have a service dog and several other therapy critters.

Rent is $500 PLUS split utilities FIRM.
To apply click here"  and I posted a link to the property Craigslist ad.

MS is such a stressful disease, and I just wanted a place of "our" own because sometimes the outside world just doesn't get it. Because we are disabled, the roommate patient would need to be able to hold their own financially. Patients receiving disability checks are better for this house because they don't have to worry about not being able to pay rent because they have guaranteed funds. This is independent assisted living, which I find works best for us MS patients.

But before moving forward, I realized and I have learned to live in peace and I know stress causes relapses so we do our best to keep stress down here. Since arriving in Bennett, where this house is located, I've sensed certain stress. Ring worm is in the house from the animals, and neighbors are not neighborly towards each other. And gospel music is hated. Smh.  And non alchohol seemed weird seeing as there was beer in the fridge all the time. So I'm not sure now. Its too early. 

Wherever I decide to do the MS House, here it somewhere else, For those who can't go outdoors, there will be indoor activities. Rest is accepted and encouraged. For those who can go outdoors, we do take trips to the wonders of Colorado such as restaurants, tours, mountains, and more.

I'm gonna do this. Phoenix reminds me of rising and the meds I take is called Phoenix Tears, so we shall see....dream still in the making.