Latest MRI explanation; right sided

  My latest MRI showed evidence of a prior lesion in the area of my brain that is consistent with my right hand issue I had Summer of 2017(  http://supportmsawareness.blogspot.com/2017/07/the-relapse-rrms-and-how-it-affects-me.html?m=1 ). It's amazing to me how the brain functions even with the flaws in mine as well as equipment used to scan it. I'm humbled.

The MRI scan did not see evidence of the Trigeminal Neuralgia though, so perhaps that was a one time thing. Initially I thought that condition was due to a medication but now I've been assured that it's just a part of having MS.

The Relapse: RRMS and how it affects me

From May-June 2017 I was in a Multiple Sclerosis relapse. For an average of thirty days I progressively lost use of my right hand. I'm better now, by God's grace. My heart goes out to all MS patients and the ones who care for them, the families who are affected by it, and especially those newly diagnosed. It's one hell of a ride fighting this monster but it's doable. I decided to use my left hand.

Decisions,lol. My left hand wasn't close behind the right considering I'm right handed. I had to LEARN to use my right hand and when I tell you it was challenging...whew, it was.  But I did it. I couldn't write but I could feed myself after practice (until then hubby fed me or I ate finger foods). With an auto immune disease/chronic illnesses such as Multiple Sclerosis, if course my panic anxiety was on full blast and so was my depression. I panicked because I was unsure of what else was going to "go out".

I'm now on Gilenya since May 24, 2017 (a disease modifying drug or DMD) that is said to slow down the progression of Multiple Sclerosis. So far I have not felt horrible like I did with Rebif, the old dmd I took. I take a pill instead of injections like before but I still long to be med free like I was prior to the relapse.

Typing with one hand and being super mommy

My left side is getting worst with my motor skills.  At this point it hurts to type with it.  I definitely need speech software but i'm afraid that if my speech slurs I won't be recognizable. These are today's stressors....well, some of them.

  I need people to know how to work with me.  From what I gather, it's best to let me talk and then for the person to do.  <sigh>...easier said than done. Its the "doing" that is becoming more and more challenging. The "doing" takes strength and eill power that I dont always have.

Having an invisible disease means you get invisible assistance, lol.  Meaning nobody is going to do for you what they believe you can do for yourself. It's hard to hear "You're just making it up in your head".  It would be different if I had a hired assistant that would just do these things for me because they were paid to do it. But sadly i'm one of the low income individuals that cannot affored hired help. And that's why I get sad.

I have had no sleep, really.  My body feels drained.  Nobody monitors my rest so I am trying to do so.  If I had a paid assistant they could monitor how much ( or how little ) I rest, especially sonce I have insomnia. My son takes meds every 4 hours and I'm the one to administer it to him.  He had surgery (a tonsillectomy) The other day, and so you can imagine his pain.  And because it's pain meds, I'm careful to be the only one giving it to him.  I'm his mother.  This is what mother's do.  My husband and girlfriend open the top of the child-proof bottles for me, but I do the rest.  That's a lot for me. And my son reminds me when I forget, especially when he's hurting again, so we are working together. I didn't realize how much pressure this is for me. My son helps me take care of him because thats how my children have always been since MS came into our lives, but with a little funding I could get someone to help me take care of me, too. http://www.gofundme.com/write-4msawareness

Despite the motor skills challenges, I carry on. I'm typing this with my right hand only when typing with the left hurts too much. I think once my stress goes, my motor skills will return.

Type-ooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm tired of making typos.  In 1997 I tested at 98wpm .  A year later I was at 124wpm.  The following year I scored at 136wpm.  Now...2015...my left hand is bothering me and i'm in typo hell trying to get by on the keyboard.  It's sad, limitations.  It takes forever to type and i'm like..... "this is not me"/.

But it is me.  It's ME, limitations and all.  It's me that has to type with two fingers or a pen if I can.  It's annoying.  It makes me sad.  It takes me all day to write one paper.  I can barely read my own handwriting.  This sucks.

I first noticed my left hand acting up while testing.  Then it was confirmed when I tried to type on my laptop.  I cried as I had to grammar/spell check the hundreds of red lines on my paper.  I'm looking for a talk to text app to assist me.  But this is hard and it saddens me.

Please donate and help me fund some of the things being on disability won't allow me to do. I really feel like massage therapy can help loosen up these tight muscles and damaged nerves.  Please help http://www.gofundme.com/write-4msawareness