New Years 2019 Resolutions

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. It's New Year's Day 2019 and I'm so thankful to be alive today.  It's Tuesday, and I've been sick since last Saturday night. The herbal treatment I've been taking is working, so I'm hopeful to get out of this sickness having to only take Ibuprofen for the pain and fever, and treat myself organically with everything else .

This year I'm going to make efforts to write everyday, to be more visible on YouTube, fundraise more to fund my medical treatments, raise more awareness about Multiple Sclerosis and other chronic illnesses, and to become an overall better version of myself.

My chest feels heavy but the herbs are working their magic. Like Cardio said, "Knock me down nine times, I get up ten". I'm not giving up this fight for my life and I will not allow Big Pharma to give me medicine that will ultimately hurt me when GOD has provided natural herbs, fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, water, and essentially all that I need. This year I will obtain the massage therapy I need, too, and hopefully other holistic type treatments. This year, we will win.

The Difference Tomorrow Makes

Sometimes I just feel so down and out that I don't mention the difference another "tomorrow" makes in my life. Tomorrow means the world, because it means another chance at "it all".  For MS fighters everywhere, tomorrow gives hope for change. 

I'm an activist for "awareness".  I'm so grateful for my improving health.  This time last year, I was nowhere as healthy as I am now.  With my new awareness of holistic approaches to healthcare, I have a greater chance of keeping myself in remission.  Even though my nervous system is very sensitive, I am still seizure free, and even with everyday stresses, I feel as though the seizures are gone.  Even if they aren't, I'm still so grateful for today, and as I continue to spread MS Awareness and awareness of other health issues that disables people I continue to give thanks to GOD for his grace and for difference tomorrow makes. There is no cure for MS yet but one day "tomorrow" will bring about a cure not only for MS, but for everything that ails society. 

My walk with MS has been an interesting one to say the least.  Prior to MS, I was always on the go. MS has slowed me down a lot and made me more cautious.  I have to accept that though things are different, I'm still here. I'm still here to face any challenges I may have and to overcome them or at least be vocal about what is going on so that the next person may be helped.  I'm learning to be more selfless, because tomorrow (though it means promise) is not promised. I want to live until i'm 117 years old or older, but just for everything thus far, I'm every so thankful for the opportunities.  

People for the most part understand that I can no longer work full time.  I can't really work for anyone except for some clients every now and then.  My mind races a million miles a minute and though it allows me to start so many things, the completion rate decreases unless I have assistance. I have tried and sometimes I have good days and sometimes I have not so good days.  The main thing is not being shaky around people, not wanting to run back to my isolation.  After so much, the trauma I've suffered really did a number on me, but at least I have on the rise because with that i'm still able to make a difference. Last night felt so good to have three LUPUS representatives on our show The Blaq Hour.  One was a woman who lost her mom to complications of liver stemmed from lupus. One is an educator who is currently in a Lupus flare up on medical leave but anxious to get back to work.  One has had Lupus for over 17 years and has suffered almost complete organ failure as well as so many other things stemming from Lupus.  I fight hard to make sure that I provide a platform for health awareness if I can do nothing else.  I provide a platform for talent on the rise to get the exposure they need. All I ask for are donations for my MS fundraiser so that we can earn money to live.

The difference tomorrow makes is still yet to be seen by my eyes because it hasn't happened yet, but tomorrow i'll make a difference, too, and that'll make my tomorrow ever better. 

Typing with one hand and being super mommy

My left side is getting worst with my motor skills.  At this point it hurts to type with it.  I definitely need speech software but i'm afraid that if my speech slurs I won't be recognizable. These are today's stressors....well, some of them.

  I need people to know how to work with me.  From what I gather, it's best to let me talk and then for the person to do.  <sigh>...easier said than done. Its the "doing" that is becoming more and more challenging. The "doing" takes strength and eill power that I dont always have.

Having an invisible disease means you get invisible assistance, lol.  Meaning nobody is going to do for you what they believe you can do for yourself. It's hard to hear "You're just making it up in your head".  It would be different if I had a hired assistant that would just do these things for me because they were paid to do it. But sadly i'm one of the low income individuals that cannot affored hired help. And that's why I get sad.

I have had no sleep, really.  My body feels drained.  Nobody monitors my rest so I am trying to do so.  If I had a paid assistant they could monitor how much ( or how little ) I rest, especially sonce I have insomnia. My son takes meds every 4 hours and I'm the one to administer it to him.  He had surgery (a tonsillectomy) The other day, and so you can imagine his pain.  And because it's pain meds, I'm careful to be the only one giving it to him.  I'm his mother.  This is what mother's do.  My husband and girlfriend open the top of the child-proof bottles for me, but I do the rest.  That's a lot for me. And my son reminds me when I forget, especially when he's hurting again, so we are working together. I didn't realize how much pressure this is for me. My son helps me take care of him because thats how my children have always been since MS came into our lives, but with a little funding I could get someone to help me take care of me, too. http://www.gofundme.com/write-4msawareness

Despite the motor skills challenges, I carry on. I'm typing this with my right hand only when typing with the left hurts too much. I think once my stress goes, my motor skills will return.