Me vs the sun

It's 9:22am. It's too hot to go out. I'm disappointed. I knew I would be. The sun makes it impossible to get anything done until its cooler. Heat or high humidity can make many people with multiple sclerosis (MS) experience a temporary worsening of their symptoms. Doctors believe that this occurs because heat causes nerves (whose myelin covering has been destroyed from MS) to conduct electrical signals even less efficiently. Most people with MS avoid hot baths, hot showers, and heated swimming pools.

Some of the things I do require assistance. Most things, actually. Motivation is needed. This is depressing because in my heart I want to do so much. I suppose it's fair that I have to wait on others since so often they have to wait for me, but this is truly handicapping. The Aviary is really too heavy for me to complete alone, so when its too hot we can't do anything.

Last year I never got things done. Housework was impossible because nobody wanted to help me and I have issues lifting,pulling, bending,pushing,etc. This year I have to do better about making better choices for myself, and to get the help I need. It worries me when I can't get help. Oftentimes money is the obstacle. Or willingness.

Fighting depression is a task for anyone. I'd feel so much better if my daughter was near me. Today will be a better day...just gotta be patient.

The bigger picture

I'm pushing myself so hard out here in Colorado. It's amazing to see myself do things I never thought I'd be able to do. I'm exhausted, though. With every little feat, I'm perspiring and light headed. But I've got my eye on the prize.

I suffer from MS Fatigue, and that's why I'm exhausted. "Web MD" does a decent job in describing MS Fatigue, something that so many of the MS patients I know suffer from, including our roommate Des, another MS Patient.

"Multiple Sclerosis and Fatigue

Medically speaking, fatigue is not the same thing as tiredness. Tiredness happens to everyone -- it is an expected feeling after certain activities or at the end of the day. Usually you know why you are tired and a good night's sleep solves the problem.

Fatigue is a daily lack of energy; unusual or excessive whole-body tiredness not relieved bysleep. It can be acute (lasting a month or less) or chronic (lasting from one to six months or longer). Fatigue can prevent a person from functioning normally and affects a person's quality of life.

According to the National Multiple SclerosisSociety, 80% of people with MS have fatigue. MS-related fatigue tends to get worse as the day goes on, is often aggravated by heat and humidity, and comes on more easily and suddenly than normal fatigue."

7:33 am and I'm waiting on Rafael so I can start my day. Honestly all I want to do is lay down, but if I did it would mean admitted defeat, and I can't lose. Putting up this Aviary means that when something crosses out path, we are up for the challenge. It symbolizes getting better and stronger. I need this just as much as the birds do.

Being a part of a cause bigger than yourself inspires you to do more. It's imperative that my team helps me win, because I'm going to help them win. These birds deserve a better life and our teacher deserves happiness (she does so much to help others).

As I rise, my hope is that my day goes well and that I'm able to do my part without obstacles getting in my way. After this task is complete I hope to complete the new MS program I'm working on. This Colorado air will do MS patients good. I see the bigger picture.